I didn’t get to link up with MercyFound Ministries this weekend…
Sadly, my weekend got away from me before I realized it! But, I really enjoy looking back over my week and sharing with all of you. So, here’s my high, low, and lesson learned anyway!!
Last night Barry came home from the church late, and I was already asleep. He woke me and gave me a card to read (which I did so with blurry eyes). It was a St. Patrick’s day card…which we don’t actually celebrate, but the writing inside was the perfect encouragement I needed.
And inside the envelope was a ring. Complete with a pearl, that he slipped on my oh so fat finger…because…
One night this week I was overcome with emotion. I was convicted about how much I expect out of Sveta, and how I don’t give enough grace…and was reminded of how quick to become frustrated I have been lately. I want to be able to just say, “oh, it’s my hormones.” But guess what my friends…hormones, or not…it’s sin. And I want to deal harshly with sin. God does, and I should too. I can’t just chalk it up to being pregnant, I need to deal with my emotions in a healthy way…not by just getting frustrated over little things that really aren’t a big deal at all.
I also was just sad and feeling like I wasn’t myself. For one, I’m swollen (you’ve heard about this). But, despite gaining weight (which I’m really ok with), I’m just heartbroken that I can’t wear my wedding ring. Not because I worry what Barry will think, or because I even care what others will say…but because of what that ring symbolizes. I was in tears talking to Barry about it…which is why last night I was so blessed by the fact that he went out and bought one for me to wear while my fingers are just HUGE.
I keep looking at my new ring, and I don’t care if he got it out of a gumball machine…it’s a reminder to me of his love. It’s a reminder to me of how he loves me like Christ loves His church. And let me tell you friends, my husband is excellent at loving me as an example of how Christ loves His church. I am beyond blessed, and so grateful for Barry. I learn more about Jesus everyday by watching him learn, love, and live.
Not only have I learned from Barry this week, but also in my breakdown over all sorts of things – it boiled down to this::
I am not in control. I want control.
So, I’ve been trying to find things to control (Sveta’s behavior, our family eating plan/schedule, etc). I do, however, feel a responsibility to give my family healthy meals to eat. Some days I do well, others, I fail m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.y. But, God is good. And he’s given me new insights, and a desire to fill myself only with what is honorable and pleasing to Him.
In my research, I found this gem of a website:: www.keeperofthehome.org
I’ve perused it before, but not like I am preparing to. I want all the information I can…I want to remember what I learned from Jen Hatmaker’s book “7” and I want to live simply and radically for my Jesus.