Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pregnant...with no due date.

On December 16th Barry and I officially decided that we were going to adopt Sveta...or at least do all we could to attempt it anyway.  And now, here we are on August 16th...exactly 8 months later.

We are at the part of the "pregnancy" when things start to get really difficult.  I've heard that the last month is the hardest...you're miserable and just ready for the baby to come.

That's where I am.

Miserable. And ready for my baby to come.

I haven't said it aloud often because how do you respond to someone saying that?  I don't want anyone to feel like they have to have the words to say, or to make it all better.  The fact is, it's hard right now...and just like any woman who has been 8 months pregnant will attest to, there's not much you can do about it.

But please pray.  It was 4 months ago that we had to say goodbye to our daughter...and they've felt like an eternity.  She is supposed to be home.  She's supposed to be sitting in the rocking chair with me under the homemade cozy blanket.  She's supposed to be playing with the dress up clothes in her room.  She's supposed to be drinking out of the cute little pink cups that are in our kitchen cabinets.  She's supposed to be here.  She's supposed to be home.

As I even type this, I am reminded that this is what God must think sometimes about me.  He must say, "She doesn't belong there.  She should be in my arms.  She should be here with me."

Just like Sveta's home isn't going to be Russia for long...her home really isn't here at all.  Neither is mine.  Our home is yet to come...and so I guess it makes sense that things are lacking, and all isn't right with the world.  But I know this, that He who made the world is greater than he who is in the world.  I will rest assured as I go to sleep tonight, and my sweet girl wakes up on the other side of the world, that my God is caring for her there as He is for me here.

He's that BIG.

He's who I'm leaning on.  I'm trusting that He's got this in His hand, too.  He's got Sveta.  He's got me.  He's orchestrating His plan.

And I will wait in anticipation for my due date...that only He knows.


  1. Ugh. We waited for 10 months from meeting our son until we returned for court and it was the worst almost year of my life. Nothing anyone said made it any easier or better. Just when you think you can't physically, mentally, or emotionally wait another minute longer, another month passes you by. But, it will be all worth it soon. You really do forget all the pain and your faith will grow stronger with every prayer, plead and petition you send up to God. He is a BIG God, keep holding on!

  2. Hang in there Mortons!!
    We think of you often and pray that things come together in God's time and that it will be quickly for your sake!! I know there are no words to help, but I just wanted you to know you are in our thoughts!