3 blogs in one??

Sometimes I feel like I have tons and tons and tons of stuff that I want to share, and then life happens and I don't get to do it.  So, today, while Sveta is resting I'm going to try to share three thoughts:

1. Radical living:  It's really messing with me, this thought of living for Jesus.  When you become a beliver, people wrongfully give you the idea that it's all roses after that.  No one tells you that carrying your cross is difficult...I just thought it meant wearing it on my neck.  Jesus says you will be persecuted, He says that your reward will be in Heaven...which means we don't get it here.  But, He says it will be worth it...and I believe Him.  I'm looking at Jesus, and He's calling me...and our family...to live for Him in everyway: to sacrifice what we want to grow His Kingdom.  It's all that matters anyway. To live radically our family has decided that God is asking us to get out of debt.  So, here's our RADICAL plan:  sell our house in Indianapolis, sell our house in Greensburg, move in with Barry's parents, and spend WAY less and pay off our debts as fast as we can.  People think we are crazy, they don't understand, they think we're somehow "off."  I'm ok with that...because I don't want to be like the majority of American Christians who live no differently than the rest of America.  I don't want to go with the cultural norm, I want to go with the Biblical Command.  I'm shaken by the fact that we are more wealthy than 99% of ALL people.  ALL.  Me. Wealthy.  I don't see myself as that...and that's wrong.  So, we're trying to follow Jesus and live as He calls.

2. God is faithful.  All the time.  We listed our houses this week after painting, cleaning, and moving clutter around.  I'm thankful it's done.  Now just to keep it clean.  WOW. Hard.  But so so good.

3. I am not eating Dairy Queen.  Why?  Well, Barry and I had a brilliant plan to help us lose a little bit of weight.  Except I did eat OrangeLeaf earlier this week.  And, today after Sveta's 1st soccer game we went to Dairy Queen:  I ordered a water.  A water.  I was successful today.  Thank goodness!!

Frustration Ends in Love

Sunday evening was not good.  I was someplace between, "I just going to drive my parent's truck through the sunroom" and "I'm going to hire someone to finish what I've started and cannot finish".  My frustration was primarily with the sunroom.  A room I began to remodel years ago and have stalled on finishing ... partly because of time, partly because of finances, and, perhaps mostly, because of a lack of knowledge in how to finish the project. 

Nonetheless, I have moved toward finishing the project.  Paneling is up and it's time to trim around the windows.  I am clueless.  Instead of slopping wood on there, I call a few friends for advice and instruction only after I completely frustrate myself.  I cannot remember the last time I was so frustrated. 

Jessi was a little stressed and frustrated, too.  She says it wasn't me she was frustrated with, but I can assure you all that I did nothing to take any stress away from her. 

At perhaps the peak of our frustration we are all (three of us) riding along in my parent's truck.  No, we are not cruising toward the sunroom.  Yes, I realize I alluded to doing that earlier.  The wife and child would not have been in on that showdown.  This is strictly between me and my creation (the sunroom).

While cruising along Jessi and I are not smiling.  Sveta sits in her seat between us just as cute as a button.  I decide to engage her in conversation.  "Sveta," I say in a rather serious tone, "there is no smiling, no laughing, and no having fun tonight."  (Yes, she has caught on to my sarcasm after only 5 months with us)  "Noooowha", comes her response.  Then a cute, brief 4-year-old-giggle.  Followed with, "I have to smile, daddy."  "Why do you have to smile?" 

Her response puts a smile on Jessi's face and mine. 

Her response puts many things into perspective. 

Her response is the thing which many long to hear ... even to the point of killing themselves to hear.  Literally.

Her response is what gives life to hope and brings death to despair.

Her response has been learned in 5 months and will be unpacked for all eternity.

Her response:  "Because Jesus loves me"

Frustration finds its end in love.

I have learned many things since this little girl entered my life.  I have learned how many times I can ask someone to do something before I need to leave the room in frustration.  I have learned that I can love my wife FULLY and FULLY love a child at the same time.  I have learned what it feels like to have a little girl scream "daddy!" and ran at you with open arms. I have learned the helpless feeling of holding a child in pain (physical or emotional) and know there is nothing you can do but cry together.  I have learned that the white 'play shoes' are what she wants to wear everyday.  I have learned that I simply cannot make a pony-tail look good ... on anyone including myself. 

Many things in my life have changed.  I eat differently.  I sleep lighter.  I shut doors.  I move knives away from the end of counter tops.  I read kids books ... over and over.  I pretend to be many things in many places. 

One thing that hasn't changed is the love of God.  And it's amazing the way this little girl can remind me of it every day. 

A 4 year old can be a picture of ultimate selfishness.  She's simply not learned to hide it the way I have.  We don't grow out of this 4 year old state of selfishness.  Instead, I am convinced we manipulate it and mask it and hide it ... but it's still there.  She, just like me, deserves hell.  "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8).  Reason to smile.  


I am amazed at the immeasurable amount of patience God extends toward me in my countless selfish endeavors.  I am amazed at the way He loves me, despite me.  


The brokenness that surrounded us in that truck ...
... a child once an orphan, three selfish persons, a young man who so deeply wants to be proven by the work of his own hands, a beautiful young lady who longs for a restored community ...
... that brokenness that surrounded us in that truck is overwhelmed in the face of a matchless love which is unrivaled by all the hell and brokenness that may surround any one person or the entire population of the globe.  

There is nothing greater than the love of God.  


I experience it each day when I hug my wife and my daughter.
I experience it each time a friend comes and helps with my house.


I will never know the depth of God's love, but I will enjoy swimming deeper and deeper into it. 

Confessions of a sinner...who desires for MORE.

I should be cleaning, or preparing my house to look perfect for when some new friends come over for dinner tonight...but I'm not.  Because the more I think about it, the more I don't want a "perfect" house.  I would trade the "need" to have a perfect house for almost anything.  Because, here's a little secret my friends...I don't actually NEED a perfect house, nor a clean one.  Most of the world has neither and doesn't even think twice. 

I'm learning a lot about the American Dream and a lot about the dream of living the Gospel...and how actually...they don't mesh very well.  See, here's how I've learned to live...and, things that I've thought recently. 

1. My house must be clean, nicely decorated, and I must have a great meal prepared along with matching china before I can invite friends over for dinner.

2. I must have 2 cars.  They must be in working order, and have lots of bells and whistles:: push a button your window goes down, plug in your ipod, turn on the a/c, etc, etc, etc.  And if I have one child, I should probably own a mini-van or some other large vehicle. 

3. I just got birthday money...how should I spend it on myself?  Maybe I should use the money along with money I make off of selling my ipod and Kindle to buy myself an ipad.

4. I have one pair of shorts that fit, and one pair of jeans.  I should go buy new ones.

5. There are really cute Merrell's in my size for "super cheap."  I could get some more shoes.

6. I don't want to get messy and try to serve Jesus here.  I'd rather pack for a week somewhere and love on orphans than love on the children and families of Decatur county.  Why?  Because the orphans didn't do anything to deserve their plight.  The people here should know how to live "better." 

7. I really want to do well with selling Pampered Chef...then maybe my name would be on the "top sellers" list that all consultants see...and that'd be AWESOME.

8. Maybe instead of cooking tonight, I'll just have my family go out to eat.  $35 isn't that much.

9. This coffee is the least expensive.  And it has a fun flavor.  Got to have it. 

10. Church.  I think I can do this thing.  I can create an event where people want to come and fall in love with Jesus there.  It'll be great.  We'll have a great speaker, nice decorations, yummy food...and great coffee!

So, here I sit, in my sin.  Thinking these things.  Judging others.  Putting myself on a pedestal and thinking that my glory and my power is greater than God's.  Humbled...that's what I am.  I'm not greater than He...and in His grace He's teaching me to invest and live in His Kingdom with His glory and purposes in mind. Here's what His upside-down Kingdom tells me in opposition to my own human-ness:  (I'm not trying to claim that this is Absolute Truth...simply that in my walk to be like Christ...this is what He's teaching me)

1. Invite people into your home.  Share a meal.  Break bread. Talk about Me.  And, don't invite people over who can pay you back.  Invite the poor, the broken, the needy, the foreigner, the orphan.

2. Materials will pass away...and only He will remain.  Stop trusting in a hunk of metal to take care of you and get you where you need to go.  Half the places you go, you don't need to go anyway.

3. That money was given to you as a blessing.  Use it to bless.  Don't hoard it on yourself.  It's not really yours anyway.  Further MY Kingdom, not your own.

4. Stop eating the stuff you don't need, and take care of the body I gave you.  Then your clothes would fit and you wouldn't feel the need to waste money on clothes you don't actually need.

5. Really, do you need 21 pairs of shoes?  Your brothers and sisters around the world...they've never even owned a pair of shoes...and they are in pain because of having to walk so far to fetch water without shoes on their feet.

6. You are the worst of them all.  You think you are perfect and holy, when you have so far to go.  (and I am).  I'm not better than any...and I shouldn't judge those that have less than I.  Whether they are in Decatur County, or Russia, or Kenya, they are children of God.  End of story.

7.  Even if people that get that email think you are great...I will know the truth.  You did it for your glory...and not for Mine.

8. $35.  Actually allows a Kenyan orphan to go to school, have food, and supplies for a MONTH.

9. This coffee might be cheap...but it is costing a great deal to the farmers who are enslaved by the company that makes it.  Is your flavored coffee really worth continuing to support companies who literally are enslaving thousands daily?

10. You can do nothing without My power.  So, go ahead, throw yourself into this event...or pray.  Ask me to show you who to invite in, who to love on, and watch as many come to know me.

American Dream?  Gospel centered dream?

My dream is to live differently for Jesus.  To love Him with abandon and to stop caring what this world says.  This world, it's not my home.  His Kingdom is all that matters, and I want my life to mimic His hopes, dreams, and goals...and for all the glory to go to Him.

What is your dream??

Help another orphan...

Incredible organization::  Project Hopeful.  Check them out:: www.projecthopeful.org.

They need you.  Go to http://www.cultivatewines.com/give and vote for them, once a day for the next 8 days.  They're in the running for a gift from the company for 50,000.  AMAZING.  Please take 3 minutes and vote.

Thanks!

Overdue

I'm going to use my handy dandy ipod for a review of the last almost month (sad, but true)::

Friday, May 18::  Sveta and I got our haircut, and our family had a yard sale.
Saturday, May 19::  Yard sale, and I'm pretty sure we went to DQ.  My girl LOVES her chocolate ice cream.
Sunday, May 20:: Church
Monday, May 21:: Sveta got to play at Nana and Pops and I went off to a meeting at church.  Where we discussed distributing meals to a local apartment complex for the summer (kids 18 and under).  AMAZING.  Then we too Griffen to the vet.  Sveta asked if she could ride a horse there.  No understanding of what the vet was until we got there.  She didn't like him, she wanted to find the other animals.
Tuesday, May 22:: Calendar is blank...I have NO idea.
Wednesday, May 23::  I went to Newport with two of my best friends for Katie's birthday.  We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, and plan to be together more (but thus far, we've not succeeded (how do you spell that word?).  My favorite was getting home and Sveta had had a rough time going to bed with me out.  But I walked in her room and kissed her.  She said something like...I look and you not anywhere.  I promised I'd always come home and she said she loved me and was so happy I was home.  MELT-MY-HEART.
Thursday, May 24::  Aunt Jill's birthday.
Friday, May 25::  ? And sadly, I think we did something really fun.  I just have NO idea what it was.
Saturday, May 26:: Sveta and I went to my mom's for a Pampered Chef and others extravaganza.  Sveta got to swim with her "Goppa" in the pool...for a really long time!  She LOVED it.  And apparently kept asking for more toys....even though they were all in the pool.
Sunday, May 27:: Barry declared this day one of his absolute favorites!!  We went to church, then it was time for a little resting for Sveta before we went to our friends' James and Jada's wedding.  Barry was an usher in the wedding (although he was trying to convince people that he WAS Usher).  So Sveta and I sat and watched the ceremony.  She did GREAT.  Then it was back home to wait for Papa.  We took a few pictures, and then we were off to the dinner.  YUM.  Got to sit with friends Brad and Vannah and their little one, and a new friend.  Then we went outside for the reception.  It was HOT.  And that's an UNDERSTATEMENT.  Like 93 degrees and humid.  Well, we got to visit with the other Sefton's and Sveta found the dance floor.  It was like she came to life.  She loved it.  She was out there with all the other kids, and even got Barry and Pastor Jon to dance with her.  FUN Fun Fun.  Then she hit a wall, started screaming, and we made our exit!  But, it was such a blessing to be part of an event that was centered around Jesus.  There is NO doubt that James and Jada love our God, and that they will seek to love Him and then each other more and more each day.  (Thanks for blessing us, by allowing to witness such an incredible covenant!)
Monday, May 28::  Barry was off work.  We hung out and did stuff.  I remember it being great.  I don't however know what it was we did.  (I posted this, and was reminded of what I did...thanks sis).  So, we went to my dad's house.  He hadn't met Sveta yet...so she got to meet him, his wife (Chrissie) and the dogs.  She liked riding the four wheeler, and playing with her cousin, Grace in the pool.  It was great to catch up.  My little neice isn't so little anymore...she's getting so big...and more cute by the day!  :)
Tuesday, May 29::  Sadly, the long weekend came to an end.  We rested.
Wednesday, May 30::  We drove to Indianapolis for out first of 4 post-placement reports.  We met with the social worker, and she'll write everything up.  1 down, 3 to go. YAY!
Thursday, May 31::  Sveta and I spent the day with my grandparents, uncle Tim, cousin Jen and her girls Stella and Olive.  Then we had dinner with more of the women in the family.  Barry went to my parents house to have a pre-Father's Day dinner with an incredible guest of honor.  Ask him about the Doolittle raid sometime. 
Friday, June 1:: ZOO day.  Lots of animals, snacks, fun, and a little zebra face paint and our day was complete.  We enjoyed KFC for dinner with family that couldn't make it...and we loved it all.  Sveta especially loved the Zebra.  It was so so fun to watch her see the animals and take it all in. 
Saturday, June 2::  Oil change and car wash at the church.  94 (I think) vehicles in Decatur county with oil changes that day...cost to the owners of the cars??? Nothing.  Great to go and visit the men and women serving. Then it was off to Michael's (my brother's) graduation party at my parents' house.  It was TOO cold to swim, so we hung out inside and visited.  Lots of fun was had...and I'm SUPER proud of my not so little brother!!
Sunday, June 3::  I left the church with Sveta screaming in my arms.  I mean SCREAMING.  Yeah, you think we overdid it and she was beat?  I think so.  I can't blame her for screaming.  We napped, and were back at church for the evening service.  Sveta was much better after her nap, but still had recovering to do!
Monday, June 4:: Recovery.
Tuesday, June 5::  Sveta went to Nana and Pop's to play.  I went, with Barry & some others, to serve lunch at the aparments behind the church.  20 meals served.  34 volunteers to serve and love on kids.  SO glad to be part of serving in Jesus' name!  I think this was the day we watched Bekah play softball!!
Wednesday, June 6::  I'm pretty sure this was the day my Chaco flip flops bit the dust.  I may have shed a tear (ok...not really, but I thought about it).  We drove to find new flip flops.  No luck.  We also made a bucket list of fun things to do this summer, and we made Monkey Muffins.
Thursday, June 7::  Play time at the Elementary School playground with Sveta's friends and their mom's (my friends)...it really works out great!!  Sveta played in a large bucket full of water, and when Barry got home he took off his shoes and got in with her.  Jeans, and socks, and all.  Then somehow before I knew it we were ALL soaked from head to toe.  So we came in, changed clothes, went to Maddux auction and came back for Burgers, potatoes and pineapple.  Yum.
TODAY::  Finally...never waiting that long again.  (Although somewhere in there we went to DQ with the Porter family and had a great time). 

We had family pictures taken today (Thanks Angela Jackson for the donation to our fundraiser last April...and thanks Mom and Mick for bidding on it to give to us as a gift!!)  Then we had lunch and DQ.  Then we were off to Picker's Paradise where I found a little ladder I'm going to use to frame pictures on the wall.  10 bucks.  Pretty excited.  Then Barry surprised us and took us to see Madagascar 3.  We love these movies (thanks Noah and Berea for buying the first one in Russian and letting us borrow it so Sveta had a Russian movie she could understand).  We ran into Katie and her two kids and sat with them.  Popcorn was had.  Then Sveta and Barry went to deliver wood for a guys night camping/fishing/shooting guns event.  And I went with Katie and the kids to the farmer's market.  I bought green beans and a lime basil plant (that I hope NOT to kill).  It's got a lime scent to it and I plan on using it in fresh salsa.  That is if I can keep it alive long enough!  Then we came home, Sveta and Barry played in buckets of water again, and we had Chili's for supper.  One episode of Frog and Toad, 4 books, and a little rocking and Sveta's been out for a while.  Barry left to go be with the guys...and I'm writing to you.

I want to write about what I'm learning from the Lord.
And about how God is so BIG and small at the same time.
How my new friend Jessica leaves in just a few days to see her daughter for the first time, at an orphanage I've been to many times.  Her daughter is being loved on this week by a Boaz team...

But, I will leave with this:  www.boazproject.org.  Check it out.  Get involved.  Support.  They will always be near to my heart!  Their founders are amazing.  They've walked with me through so so many things...and if it weren't for them:  I wouldn't know Jesus like I do.  I wouldn't have a view of being the family of God like I do.  I would have my husband, or my daughter.  Thank you Jim and April, and Noah and Berea.  For loving me like your own, for fighting for me when I didn't want to fight anymore, and for introducing me to the two most incredible people in my life.  I love you, and am praying for you this week as you love on the orphans you taught me to love! 

Consulate. Post Placement. Etc.

So, I thought I'd be done chasing paperwork and dealing with adoption stuff for a while since we're home.  I was wrong.

Things that have been on the to do list for approximately 3 months:

1. Sveta's US Passport
2. Sveta's Social Security Number
3. Figure out this whole pension fund thing.  Wish involves waiting on hold for FOREVER before getting hung up on.  Way to go Consulate.  Strange.
4. Call to schedule Post placement appointment.  Which, apparently is due to our placing agency in 2 weeks.  Someone please help me with the math.  Our 6 month post placement?  It's been just over 3...right??

So, some great things I've accomplished since being home:

1. Sveta's had 3 meals a day.
2. She's always had clean-ish clothes to wear.
3. She's always had a Mama and Papa tuck her in at night (or on 3 occasions in 3 months...just one of us).
4. She's had play dates with friends, stayed in a hotel in Louisville with Aunt Jill, visited grandparents, attended an NHS induction (at sat quietly), gone fishing, watched a movie in a movie theatre, visited farm animals, gone swimming, attended a minor league baseball game, visited an aquarium, attended her first Walk for Orphans (The Boaz Project), etc.

I think we're doing pretty good around here.  Even if we don't have it all figured out just yet.

This weekend she'll help us with a yard sale.  Next weekend she'll get to enjoy swimming in Grandma and Grandpa's pool (hopefully), and attend her first wedding.  The following week will be zoo time and meeting some cousins that look like they could be her sisters.  Then a summer full of play dates with other children adopted from Russia, a mini-vacation (potentially), and a week of CAMP with the youth.  She doesn't know that part yet, but I guarantee she'll be thrilled.

Random thoughts and info:
1. I was always frustrated when my favorite blog family got their child and then stopped updating.  I'm sorry.  I'm now that family.
2. Sveta didn't want to sleep in her room for rest time earlier this week...when I asked why she said, "because Jesus says no."
3. At night she says, "Mama, I scared uh...."  And pauses for a long period of time before she says "shadows."  But she plays with her shadows during the day.
4. She's been asking us to feed her more recently.  Not sure what that's about.
5. We're starting a job chart.  Her chores: make bed (well, kinda), brush teeth (2x a day), help set table, and clean up toys.
6.  She loves to play soccer, help in the kitchen, dance, sing, be silly...and yesterday as we were watching Barry mow the grass (and painting our fingernails) she said, "I like my daddy."  Amazing.

She's growing and learning and is beautiful.  We can't imagine life without her...and we look back on the frustrations of paperwork as times that seem so long ago.  She's ours.  We're hers.  And we couldn't be more thankful to our Creator who knit us all together.  Nor could we be more thankful to those that supported our journey, and continue to do so. 

All of our adoption costs thus far are taken care of...the only thing left to pay is $1,000 total for our post-placement reports.  $250 on May 30.  $250 at 12 months, 24 months, and 36 months.  Then, maybe we'll be done.  Or maybe we will be filing more paperwork.  Who knows.

Only God.  He's good.  And we'll continue to follow Him.

Romans 12:1-2

Sveta's growing like crazy...I'll just list crazy things she's said or done recently to show you how much she's learning!!

1. I got off the phone after apologizing to the lady on the other end for forgetting to do something.  Sveta said, "Who's that?"  I answered. "What she says?" I again answered. "Mama forgot?" Yes, yes, I forgot.  "It's ok, mama, I'll help you."

2. Today, she took her own shoes off in the house, after I asked her to leave them on.  Now, she didn't really understand that we were leaving really soon again...but she WANTED to be barefoot.  This from the girl who says the grass hurts her feet to walk on it.

3. We went to a National Day of Prayer service today on the square downtown, and all of these pastors were praying for different things allowed (including her Papa).  We got almost to the end and she whispered to me, "Sveta's turn. I pray now." 

4. She reads her little "a" book to us each night...and LOVES to point out letters.  She still is convinced that "STAPLES" says "SVETA", but whatever. :)

5. She's adjusting really well to having people over, going different places, and not needing a nap everyday.  She's a joy and it's so so exciting to see her grow and learn.  I'd post more pictures, but the computer I have doesn't really work well, and Barry's won't use our internet card anymore.  We're working on it.

On a different note:  Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I have been thinking about how I conform to the pattern of the world.  I want the American dream some days...and I'm not convinced that's what I need to be living for.  Why do I strive to make more money, to have a bigger house, with prettier things, to have 2.5 kids and a dog, to drive the nicest cars (ok, this one isn't big for me...I drive a honda that currently has a muffler that's hanging on my a thread), to go on big vacations, to be comfortable?

I am so consumed with myself, my wants, my desires, my needs...it's truly revolting.  So I care about the orphans in Russia...do I really care about my Jesus and what HE is about?  Do I care that many of the products I buy come to me because lives are being exploited and people are working in inhumane factories to create what I desire. 

Is my need for a latte really more important than a person's life and dignity? 
It's not.  Even when sometimes I behave as if my latte is more important, it isn't...and I PRAY that I begin to live out that conviction.  Found some websites today I'm going to check out about major corporations that operate sweatshops in other countries.  And, I know, I'm back to other countries...I'm just of the belief that a human life is a life created by God...no matter what country that human life is in.  So, yes, I will fight for God's children in Russia, India, Cambodia, China, and...right here in my backyard.  No one should go hungry...no one should be treated inhumanely. Jesus knows all about being treated inhumanely...he was put to death on a cross, and was buried in a borrowed tomb.  I need to stop worrying so much about my own dignity, and start thinking about the dignity of others.

Oh, Lord, how far I am from where I'd like to be.  Teach me, show me, grow me, use me.