We made it!

Our flights were just fine...and customs took no time at all...neither did passport control.  Barry and I have not been able to sleep much...so pray we can tonight.

We just pulled into Vladimir and are headed to our home away from home for a while.  More later when We settle.

Emotional Overload

Might just bullet point some of the thoughts swirling in my head:
1. Packed a suitcase last night...weighed it: 49.5 pounds.  Yeah, I'm that good.  Haha.  Not really.
2. Paperwork is all apostilled and I'm not going to Indy today!  (Went Monday-Thursday)
3. Our business visas should arrive today as they were sent out yesterday.  Praise God!
4. I've heard rumors about the 10 day waiting period being changed to a 30 day waiting period.  Our agency doesn't know of any such thing...but "anything could happen" is what I was told.  PRAY that we're grandfathered in, or more so that God does a miracle and all waiting is waived!! He's BIG...He can do it.
5. I've got to remember to pack more socks.
6. The sheets need to be washed.
7. Oops, can't forget the hair dryer.
8. I get to see Sveta on Monday.
9. One more sleep until I get on a plane.
10. We're going to be parents.
11. We're going to be parents.
12. She's going to come here now.
13. What if we have to go to Estonia for Adoption visas?
14. What if we have to come home.
15. We'll do what it takes.

Have to expand on #15.  I was thinking last night, or this morning (they've been running together) about the fact that we will do whatever it takes for her to be home:
If it means we take a train to Estonia to get different visas.
If it means that we have to wait 30 days to gain custody.
If it means we'll go through additional medical appointments.
If it means that we'll have to do whatever...we will do it.

It's like the point during labor and delivery when the doctor realizes that a natural birth plan isn't going to work in this case.  He looks at the mother and says, we're going to need to do a C-section.  The mother would NEVER say, "no, if we can't do it naturally, we're not doing it."  That's how I feel.  We've "gone into labor" and we're not going to stop until she's at home safe with us. It's just that this labor will take days.  Haha.

We'll hopefully update once more before we leave the country.  :)

The Great Paperchase

Yesterday I told Teresa (our notary) goodbye thinking I was done with paper chasing.  Today I told Teresa (our notary) bye.  Tomorrow I will go see her again.

I will be so glad to be officially done chasing papers...when Sveta has been home 3 years and all of our post-adoption reports are completed.

Couple of new prayer requests::

We weren't able to get adoption visas.  This means that most likely we will not be able to apply for Sveta's passport without first getting an adoption visa for one or both of us (Barry and/or Jessi).  So, without going into lots of details, please pray with us that God will work out how to go about this process.

Second, pray that Barry and I receive our passports/visas on Friday.  We don't want to have to wait for them on Saturday because we have to leave fairly early to make our plane.

Third, transitions.  There will be many.  Pray for them.

Updates will probably be short for a while as we are rushing around trying to check things off lists.  Many of you have asked how you can help, and we GREATLY appreciate it.  If we think of anything, we'll let you know.  Probably on our way to the airport when we realize we forgot to take care of something!!  :) 

Abundant.

Hopefully you will find this post full of abundant joy (I know it's redundant...and in this case, I don't care) and abundant details.  I've gotten a few messages saying, "can't you blog the details so I don't have to ask you a bijillion questions?"  I love it.  It's such an encouragement to know so many are following and supporting and praying.  I'll first tell the story of how we found out, and then I'll talk about details from there of where we are now.

Wednesdays are my days to work all day that the church.  We have a staff meeting at 10 each week, and just before 10 I downloaded my emails to my ipod while standing in our overly crowded office.  I saw that I had an email from the assistant at our adoption agency so I opened it immediately.  I read these words:  "GREAT NEWS, you have a court date!!!!"  I started yelling that we had a court date.  Barry quickly swirled around in his chair and all the other staff members came into the office.  I was trying to skim the very long email to find out when it was when Barry said something like, "when is it?  Get to that part!"  I told him I was trying...December 22nd or 23rd.  We need to arrive on the 18th.

We both were crying, and hugged each other.  Then the ever awesome Jon Porter came and prayed with all of us as a staff.  It was perfect.  He had words I didn't at the time...to praise our God for giving this gift and to give Him all the glory.  Jon then told us that instead of having staff at 10 we'd wait an hour so we could go call people. He also told Barry and I that from here on out we're not taking on new projects, and we are to be preparing to leave.  

Barry and I went into the sanctuary to discuss the paperwork that we'd need to hand carry...because if we couldn't bring it, we couldn't go to court.  Here's what we needed:

1. FBI clearances

2. Russian medicals (which we will do in Russia, obviously)

3. Homestudy letter saying this that and the other

4. Information on the taxes for our house to proof we have a house

2,3,4 Check...those are easy.  It was the FBI clearance we were worried about.  Some of you may remember the post about us getting fingerprinted again.  Well, I called the FBI.  They said they thought they might be able to be here by the 16th but weren't able to promise it.  So, we called the USCIS (they're a government agency who approved us to bring Sveta into the country...and for our approval we had to have FBI checks), then we tried the Indiana State Police, and Ken was GREAT.  He called us back quickly to tell us that he would print our clearance again with an added note about them running the FBI clearance.  They would be ready for pick up that afternoon.  So, we called the man who has gotten more paperwork for us than ANYONE.  Ray, my father-in-law, works in the same building.  So we called to ask if he'd pick up the clearances and get them apostilled for us.  He said yes, and then Barry told him about our court date.  So, if you are wondering who we called first:  Ray, and thank you, for running all over Indianapolis for us, and saving me so many trips!  We can't thank you enough.

So, we spent the next little while calling people until we needed to go to the staff meeting.  I'm pretty sure we spent the entire day flitting around not accomplishing much because our hearts were so full.  We were going to see our girl!!  By the end of Wednesday we had started work on flights, visas, medical insurance, and transferring money from our Boaz account to our personal account. 

Yesterday, and today have been spent checking things off of our ever growing list:  from scheduling hair appointments to sending off Visa applications, to putting away our Christmas decorations. 

When we get the list accomplished we will get on an airplane on Saturday evening and fly to Paris and then onto Moscow.  We will arrive in Moscow at 4:15pm on the 18^th.  That is 7:15am Sunday morning here.  We’ll be 9 hours ahead.  We will leave the airport and go straight to Vladimir where we will stay in an apartment.  On Monday and Tuesday mornings we will complete our medicals, and see Sveta in the afternoons.  Then we will see her on Wednesday and Thursday as well.  Court will be at 10am on Friday, December 23, 2011.  (1am in Indiana)

Once court is complete, we hope the judge says, “da” or “yes.”  We will then wait 10 days for “gotcha day.”  We will see sights, celebrate Christmas, our anniversary, and New Years while Sveta is still at the orphanage.  We don’t know if we’ll be able to see her during that time or not.  Then, if I count correctly, we’ll pick Sveta up for good on January 2^nd.  We will have to wait to apply for her Russian passport until January 9^th and then wait about 2-3 weeks for it to arrive.  Once we have it, we will travel to Moscow for her medical, and to get an American Visa.  Then we’ll fly home.

We will be gone 4-6 weeks most likely.  And we can’t wait! 

This is long enough already…but be praying:

1.    For our sanity as we pack and prepare.

2.    For the Russian Consulate to grant us adoption visas which will be better than business visas.

3.    For our time together as a family to be a time of attachment and bonding.

4.    For favor.

Family Gatherings at Christmas

Tonight’s Jr. High at the Greensburg Campus lesson was about Simeon (the old dude in the temple court who was told that he’d not die until he saw the Messiah) and how he waited.  He waited.  He waited for who knows how long.  Then the day came.  He was lead by the Spirit to the Temple and there he saw Jesus.  (Check it out in Luke 2)

Waiting is hard.  Waiting to hear from the Russian court about a court date WAS hard.  But it’s over.  We’ve heard.  We got word.  We have a date.  That waiting part is over.  And in ten days we will begin the next phase.  We’ll travel to Russia for our December 22^nd (or 23^rd) court date to chat with a judge who will either send us through a gauntlet of questions or quickly get us through to being a family. 

Jessi will probably add to this blog, but I want to share what I’ve felt today. 

A ton of excitement (finally!  A court date! We’ll finally see her again!!!!!!!!)

A little bit of fear (I’m going to be a dad! What will this judge be like?)

Mostly.  Gratitude.  Toward God and His people.  We’ve seen Him bring us strength when we didn’t know if we could take another step.  We’ve seen Him provide.  He provided so much through His people.  I have been completely overwhelmed today as we saw face after face and heard voice after voice and read text after text.  God has moved the hearts of His people and He – through them – has encouraged us beyond anything I could ever imagine.  People have prayed, given, served, and hugged us more than I could ever understand. 

I could write a thousand blogs and never quite capture how I feel.  I am completely overwhelmed.  And in a very good way.  Thank you for your thoughtfulness.  I am amazed that we’ve never felt alone in this.  So many have walked with us.  There is absolutely no way we could have made this journey (though it’s not even over) without the prayers and actions of so many.

Lord, thank you for these who have been faithful to read, eager to give, so thoughtful with questions, and ever trusting in You.  May they be filled with joy like Simeon this Christmas as they again peer into the manger for a glimpse of Jesus.  May waiting cease this season for many who wait for justice, for peace, for family, for love, for forgiveness, for freedom and all else that You bring.  Come, Jesus.  We love you. 

There is nothing left on my Christmas list this year. 

Merry Christmas,

Barry

Jessi’s additions:  “Ditto, and Amen.  And, also, I will post more of the details about how we found out, and the next stages of the process soon.”

No idea.

Keep praying. Tuesday's working hours are over in Russia now, so if Vita was going to see the judge, she already did.

We aren't sure she was able to though...we have no idea.  I promise to post something as soon as we hear.

Jessi

Elections...

I received word this morning that most likely the hold up in us being able to be assigned a court date is due to the upcoming elections in Russia on Sunday, December 4th.  We are unsure about whether or not it is expected that the judge will be re-elected or not, but we are hoping that he is...simply because the change over between judges will most likely add time to our already excruciatingly long wait.  Please be praying that when V meets with the judge on Tuesday of next week that she will be met with favor and we'll receive a date to stand before the judge.

As we wait, we've been blessed by so many who are in support of us completely.  We appreciate each one of you, and your prayers.

I wanted to adapt and add to something I read not long ago from another adoptive mom who wrote about what adoptive parents need and don’t need from those supporting them during the wait. I’ve shorted it quite a bit and put it in my own words so it might be less offensive to some…but if you want to read the original blog that resounded with so much of me right now you can find it here: http://www.jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village

Waiting is hard.  Really hard.  Every day I wake up, I realize that my little girl is waking from a nap, and preparing to eat dinner…a dinner that probably won’t fill her completely as is eerily similar to the lunch she ate earlier.  Then she will play alone, or with children that are younger than her, and she will go to bed: without a bedtime story, without a kiss on the forehead, without a prayer, without being tucked in by a loving parent.

Then I go through my day, and when I lay down at night I remember that our little Sveta is waking up, to another day of the same routine: breakfast, walk, lessons, lunch, nap, etc.  There’s little adventure, there’s little love, there’s little room for bonding with a person that loves her unconditionally.

So, in the midst of such difficulty, how do we remain “so strong” as some of you have put it.  Here’s the secret: we haven’t.  We’re losing it.  At least I’m losing it.  Tears, fits of anger, hurt and longing because we aren’t with our daughter, still.  How on earth can you help if we can’t even keep it together?  Here are some thoughts:

First, what NOT to do/say:

1.    “God’s timing is perfect!”  “He has a plan!” etc…While, we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is true, it’s not helpful to our hearts.  Our hearts are crying out that our little girl is without so much.  We need people to acknowledge how painful this journey is for us…and yet how rewarding it will be.  Event to say, “I have no idea what God is up to, and it has to be so hard to trust Him in this time…but keep the faith – He’s up to something” would be a better option.  It acknowledges God’s sovereignty and our pain too.

2.    “Are you going to have kids of your own?” or “I know about this couple who worked so hard on an adoption, and then they got pregnant so they stopped the process.”  Or anything of similar nature. 

Sveta is ours.  Even if we got pregnant, Sveta is ours.  And really, our decisions about how we choose to grow our family, are just that: our decisions. Thanks.

3.    Say nothing.  It’s like not talking about the giant elephant in the room.  Even if you aren’t sure what to say…say something.  A simple “we’re praying for you” if you really are, is an encouragement…or “you are in my thoughts.”  Or just hug us.  We need that some times.  I had a dear friend who asked how things were going…when I told her that Barry and I are dealing with the stress differently and that I have been baking a lot and then eating what I bake she had NO idea what to say.  So she got up and came over and hugged me.  And she simply said, “I didn’t know what to say, so I hugged you.”  It meant the world to me.

4.    Tell me horror stories of adoptions gone bad.  It’s like talking to a woman who is about to go into labor for the first time about the horrible birthing stories you’ve heard where women die, or are severely maimed by the process.  It’s just not kind…or needed…or helpful.  Thanks.

Second, what we’d LOVE to hear:

1.    Encourage us.  With real words from your heart…even if they are sloppy.  That’s our lives right now: sloppy.  We don’t need you to fix it, just to walk beside us in it.  Sometimes to just cry with us, pray with us, or bring us a latte because somehow that seems to make it less painful.

2.    We LOVE to talk about the adoption process, our story, and adoption as the heart of God.  Please ask questions!  We’d enjoy being able to talk about things.  It’s actually therapeutic…and we’re hoping you may choose to adopt one day too.

3.    Pray for us.  We need it.  Some days my prayer has been to simply repeat: “love is patient. Love is patient. Love is patient.”  Get on your knees for us.  Write a prayer email or text.  Anything is appreciated.

4.     It’s ok to ask what we need in the moment.  I realize that so often it is hard to read my mind of what I need: I need to talk, I don’t want to talk about it, etc.  So, if you’ve got time to offer ask: do you want to simply sit and talk about the wait? Or do you want to be distracted and get out and have fun for an hour? 

I hope this helps…and wasn’t offense.  Just trying to be honest.   I’d LOVE feedback, or other adoptive families additions to these lists!!