tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5033705576895299272024-03-05T00:58:53.328-05:00A Path Home:: Continued...Our family's journey on the Narrow Path toward life.apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-14423450610517154522013-11-10T22:40:00.001-05:002013-11-11T07:26:17.119-05:00I am Supermom. A failing Supermom.I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">write, because I believe, if you are honest enough to admit it, you are a failing Supermom too...or at least a failing Superhuman. I read blogs a lot while I nurse, and the ones that draw me in typically look something like this in the "about me section"::</span><br><div><br></div><div>"Christ follower.</div><div>Pastor's wife who runs the children's ministry, counsels women, bakes bread for the elderly, directs the choir, and dresses her whole family in coordinating outfits every Sunday.</div><div>Homeschool mom of 17 who makes all the kids clothes, who only feeds her family organic whole foods that she's grown and canned herself.</div><div>Who writes and speaks at women's conferences about her 5 adoptions and the non-profit she runs, and the 84 books she's written. Oh, and she only buys fair trade, has craft time once a week, and documents everyone of her children's milestones with scrapbooks and Facebook pictures.</div><div>Oh, and whose house is so clean that you could eat off the floors (and she only uses non toxic cleaners to do so). She always has snacks made from scratch in the oven when you drop by, and sends you home with fresh honey from the bees in the backyard."</div><div><br></div><div>Ok, so maybe I am being a little over the top, but that's what I see portrayed so often. And then I believe I need to aspire to be like her, with her perfect little self. So, I resolve to do better. To get up earlier. To support my husband better. To speak only kind loving words as I parent. To provide healthy meals that include all the nutritional food groups. To only bake from scratch and not out of a box. To make better choices with my money, and to plead the case of the orphan.</div><div><br></div><div>Then, then I start my plan. And almost as soon as I start, I fail. I don't get up early because Elliott has decided it'd be fun to make me up 4 times between 2 and 5am. I hand my daughter a prepackaged clif bar as I yell, "hurry up or we will be late" and storm out the door for church. Then, I realize that I forgot to put the pork roast in the crock pot before I left the house. Guess we will have ham sandwiches for lunch again. </div><div><br></div><div>Epic fail.</div><div>Daily.</div><div><br></div><div>Here is what I am learning: I will fail daily. I will sin and screw up and need forgiveness moment by moment. That's the whole reason Jesus came. I couldn't, and still can't save myself, or do enough good things to reconcile my relationship with Him. </div><div><br></div><div>There is a lady at church who I aspire to be when I grow up...and the other day I heard her say! I need to stop striving and simply abide (I probably didn't get this quote exactly right, please forgive me). Oh how true are her words. John 15 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture. Abide in Me. Cling to Me. </div><div><br></div><div>So, here is my new plan. Instead of holding my life up and comparing myself to the impossibly perfect women I read about, I am going to ABIDE in Christ. I am going to wake up each day and ask God for the strength to abide in Him. I am going to follow Him, and his call on my life: to bring Him glory. I can bring Him glory only when I abide in Him and seek to live my life in a way that reflects His character and therefore points my children to Him.</div><div><br></div><div>Because, friends, I'd not want Sveta to grow up and become a mom who thinks she is a failing Supermom. And I don't want to live pretending and striving to be something that matters not. I want to live abiding, and teach those who watch my life, that I am not a failing Supermom. </div><div><br></div><div>I am simply a disciple of Jesus who desires to abide in His love, that others may be drawn to abide in His love as well. Because, in His love is the best place to be. And He loves whether I have made brownies with a box mix or with the flour I ground from the wheat I grew (or didn't grow).</div><div><br></div><div>I pray that you are encouraged to abide, rather than strive!</div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-53346538564865537742013-10-13T14:40:00.001-04:002013-10-13T14:40:56.904-04:00First day of Fall is one of my favorite days...<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrUWKJ5vbuGJ_E_4B7Lyhgkz9qhTs5KJtMLdWWGZSt_XfbEz42_ZrBmVc-8zT5D645HsT28LzeC6lO0KJ7SssF5WXbUnnzOI_lI8QR59ot4ynFcJSJik7qv-lB-2FwOiTufJSYaK_Zs0/s640/blogger-image--1796174109.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrUWKJ5vbuGJ_E_4B7Lyhgkz9qhTs5KJtMLdWWGZSt_XfbEz42_ZrBmVc-8zT5D645HsT28LzeC6lO0KJ7SssF5WXbUnnzOI_lI8QR59ot4ynFcJSJik7qv-lB-2FwOiTufJSYaK_Zs0/s640/blogger-image--1796174109.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Sveta's ready for a trip to the park!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMey-IhHCsuVqOpzZ7tDvNurhITxg_iw0NwZK1WZBVAqPLJMsxJ0HcW3i8Qljc4EKJ8Ghp8wLOPB36-BQBkx8rv16Rq-t_yVqXlav7zpPCr0wFEyoU1jyRbZupdmKVlD-WK01pRBakmM/s640/blogger-image-768235726.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMey-IhHCsuVqOpzZ7tDvNurhITxg_iw0NwZK1WZBVAqPLJMsxJ0HcW3i8Qljc4EKJ8Ghp8wLOPB36-BQBkx8rv16Rq-t_yVqXlav7zpPCr0wFEyoU1jyRbZupdmKVlD-WK01pRBakmM/s640/blogger-image-768235726.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So is Elliott!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ9O-Qu3UHm6DKpZFw_p8ZcbDFHdLXpGYdomNtUxUNl-SS5BhMpVw9ogiRJp8iSVfuY3qqXySTrwkQNParhyR2_9vyOO26KxDEVgFd18GYF8m3WNP6-e2KjW5hp9HhBFlS20nTgr6838/s640/blogger-image-1484564810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ9O-Qu3UHm6DKpZFw_p8ZcbDFHdLXpGYdomNtUxUNl-SS5BhMpVw9ogiRJp8iSVfuY3qqXySTrwkQNParhyR2_9vyOO26KxDEVgFd18GYF8m3WNP6-e2KjW5hp9HhBFlS20nTgr6838/s640/blogger-image-1484564810.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And Mama...thank you Carmel Apple Spice.</div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFwL0bGqSjK7p_Dm5R6sfx2LC4JZXEvFdofVjF0D67IW_ZMf-nHt9xfEYW2ZuGxmdyhugChSyqq6-8RmGCKus0tBUKQVXh950PaQuK82_jZfXP3NKvH1wjoPfEbx8CPbKZHbT88Ibl6YM/s640/blogger-image--231369164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFwL0bGqSjK7p_Dm5R6sfx2LC4JZXEvFdofVjF0D67IW_ZMf-nHt9xfEYW2ZuGxmdyhugChSyqq6-8RmGCKus0tBUKQVXh950PaQuK82_jZfXP3NKvH1wjoPfEbx8CPbKZHbT88Ibl6YM/s640/blogger-image--231369164.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Jess met us there!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhszZ9VoUEla3CmvT4lz1FOQuwHDi1n7AmRqWG1Cs3hLpSIPt0iviqUJ4a8nIv5Gy4jndu_HHSRmts-vX-VfzIhZhfivjDsM5vTd9aWrzco38YhCZX9Z0sRCkYlfUZpFaXd5XgZ9sPJw/s640/blogger-image-559933628.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhszZ9VoUEla3CmvT4lz1FOQuwHDi1n7AmRqWG1Cs3hLpSIPt0iviqUJ4a8nIv5Gy4jndu_HHSRmts-vX-VfzIhZhfivjDsM5vTd9aWrzco38YhCZX9Z0sRCkYlfUZpFaXd5XgZ9sPJw/s640/blogger-image-559933628.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM2hNNYbwN2alHWHZmWmtghaCZHVx6ryMrFGCsyYmOhUa95_g_eTNZvSsowD5tb9wgKuglQXfSfQsTJKnH2wNq9fQaM5PLVcO7ctwleA5gWAVYmXxGsNPRUtXK3auJby_6l3_Qv-J9T3g/s640/blogger-image-1632393491.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJE5Bbn6Ja3jjVTCi1zJ644BYZWN3Z4ZybFu8sqI1nf5ZjIqfa2CA6YCJktWUE0D9_SzMcx6G5mwPmIPrmo-epcBvGAs1fVxgYQ3DSNyBeqKAew5m2n_hcbxENQX59VT9ZiGJe89Neb-4/s640/blogger-image-1371749547.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRctqU_a14jHEr2wO2l5s2ULNefypYSuYew2Kqw3T0Wcqsl_uPs4SD2iW0cY5UTD5Dr5tq21SmWYGjQWjFzxSyhR9IG2x7B9HmxracKK77XzEpGY21anF0BcGC_UZ80XhsfZO1DZ3DxtA/s640/blogger-image--1168604004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRctqU_a14jHEr2wO2l5s2ULNefypYSuYew2Kqw3T0Wcqsl_uPs4SD2iW0cY5UTD5Dr5tq21SmWYGjQWjFzxSyhR9IG2x7B9HmxracKK77XzEpGY21anF0BcGC_UZ80XhsfZO1DZ3DxtA/s640/blogger-image--1168604004.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJQMs7ucF-lZ_m1DY38VfwapUxMbJA7wNWG0AJ4vZ3dg0yn852EA-Odkeepa43EjfV8GHYnN4m3rjWaul41yDuXfpAUTtoBMrkUPozRGF_igxzUFsbfy8QSVCPoAFWjMJiAFgd4TGQUEI/s640/blogger-image-2052207585.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJQMs7ucF-lZ_m1DY38VfwapUxMbJA7wNWG0AJ4vZ3dg0yn852EA-Odkeepa43EjfV8GHYnN4m3rjWaul41yDuXfpAUTtoBMrkUPozRGF_igxzUFsbfy8QSVCPoAFWjMJiAFgd4TGQUEI/s640/blogger-image-2052207585.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCkD8Tfdbbv8YBfd9YK45psX90TsU9rLy67EnwpYUrsp7VugpsiKiFkoVmLoBhNlTOn22UqG-VEWVoZ1cgf5p_qAeqcpN9yNA1kH2TEK4aVYJnGkwCf36VcklM-s0fzsETB8_7ctqGEfM/s640/blogger-image-1877246844.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCkD8Tfdbbv8YBfd9YK45psX90TsU9rLy67EnwpYUrsp7VugpsiKiFkoVmLoBhNlTOn22UqG-VEWVoZ1cgf5p_qAeqcpN9yNA1kH2TEK4aVYJnGkwCf36VcklM-s0fzsETB8_7ctqGEfM/s640/blogger-image-1877246844.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlFdb7y_EEygvDYUvhTe2t9NNxMwD0DHXctXRdK66WjhHQVXP6WRj7vqCfzERxPIwJPHzZtaa53FcBqVGkYJP-07shtjiHPuVH_7l1hwhBQ9AdKgszh03sTu0J8ck8Cn42gfwZPd2-KVE/s640/blogger-image-1095198456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlFdb7y_EEygvDYUvhTe2t9NNxMwD0DHXctXRdK66WjhHQVXP6WRj7vqCfzERxPIwJPHzZtaa53FcBqVGkYJP-07shtjiHPuVH_7l1hwhBQ9AdKgszh03sTu0J8ck8Cn42gfwZPd2-KVE/s640/blogger-image-1095198456.jpg"></a></div>And I will leave you with this one of my 2 favorite boys!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo__SIsWbpL3esLAe6U1q2oyTr0A_Tog5qJuQFZylctvXg__nC7gWTqokDjSjE0sX-VbYg6dNB8kWssbkT726Fwo1aAxCIUvwELR8lnP03u98mfmDHMKP-4qzghl2vbOmPm2_8ElmCBPc/s640/blogger-image--73636865.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo__SIsWbpL3esLAe6U1q2oyTr0A_Tog5qJuQFZylctvXg__nC7gWTqokDjSjE0sX-VbYg6dNB8kWssbkT726Fwo1aAxCIUvwELR8lnP03u98mfmDHMKP-4qzghl2vbOmPm2_8ElmCBPc/s640/blogger-image--73636865.jpg"></a></div>Oh wait...and you must see this one!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPvz0-75jA89hOIJpF4_tNXDrOqCBOZ52u4DPNzN-HnBykfOMy5wAwzaD1YWcTPgs2G4I6FQ25OFETBbBoVeiePCKZHQTHwNS-B0aZBKwBk3OYK79RqaeYiAbbCnurg5leu3-px2kBBJE/s640/blogger-image-925673599.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPvz0-75jA89hOIJpF4_tNXDrOqCBOZ52u4DPNzN-HnBykfOMy5wAwzaD1YWcTPgs2G4I6FQ25OFETBbBoVeiePCKZHQTHwNS-B0aZBKwBk3OYK79RqaeYiAbbCnurg5leu3-px2kBBJE/s640/blogger-image-925673599.jpg"></a></div></div></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-64215538049230381622013-09-03T22:49:00.001-04:002013-09-03T22:49:47.006-04:00Beauty for AshesTonight, as I snuggle with this one::<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0RqC8cI7LS7LqqWuuVD6JEBxjK4Ygh8UusRq5pn1NutmAFniiUFj2uj8VBCcrqynhA5ytfavma_TYaM3r2NwG9w7vLWKNjoqQzSVrn6BApiJpk3hs0QRbsb88Hn1PkZtvbMrMjgskYo/s640/blogger-image--1613240798.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0RqC8cI7LS7LqqWuuVD6JEBxjK4Ygh8UusRq5pn1NutmAFniiUFj2uj8VBCcrqynhA5ytfavma_TYaM3r2NwG9w7vLWKNjoqQzSVrn6BApiJpk3hs0QRbsb88Hn1PkZtvbMrMjgskYo/s640/blogger-image--1613240798.jpg"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0RqC8cI7LS7LqqWuuVD6JEBxjK4Ygh8UusRq5pn1NutmAFniiUFj2uj8VBCcrqynhA5ytfavma_TYaM3r2NwG9w7vLWKNjoqQzSVrn6BApiJpk3hs0QRbsb88Hn1PkZtvbMrMjgskYo/s640/blogger-image--1613240798.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNdtxbARZYAlV-muHcTwo-n5QHo_PcLRsEc2OORQaRbLPdhAqEGW9GjtmNQfC7RIDVOwLxvIwq5nkvKQqLsn6lclRy77QAeUgNNOivQKxjWIAXDJih1VM9goJ5sv-T0eodygJ9rXObUU/s640/blogger-image--38930534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNdtxbARZYAlV-muHcTwo-n5QHo_PcLRsEc2OORQaRbLPdhAqEGW9GjtmNQfC7RIDVOwLxvIwq5nkvKQqLsn6lclRy77QAeUgNNOivQKxjWIAXDJih1VM9goJ5sv-T0eodygJ9rXObUU/s640/blogger-image--38930534.jpg"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXNdtxbARZYAlV-muHcTwo-n5QHo_PcLRsEc2OORQaRbLPdhAqEGW9GjtmNQfC7RIDVOwLxvIwq5nkvKQqLsn6lclRy77QAeUgNNOivQKxjWIAXDJih1VM9goJ5sv-T0eodygJ9rXObUU/s640/blogger-image--38930534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXMPccrk87aM6PLovW-NgKchlXBMFk-nPlfQfCTlUmEgX88cC1RNSx4iFbQtTmjSTWICvJbVd1ZWgDXEbw5qI-6jAkFALWOIEL1zzQJo7InKEMHLBKPHEJGs8_RjPUsP8FJr-eTnThD0/s640/blogger-image-724857578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXMPccrk87aM6PLovW-NgKchlXBMFk-nPlfQfCTlUmEgX88cC1RNSx4iFbQtTmjSTWICvJbVd1ZWgDXEbw5qI-6jAkFALWOIEL1zzQJo7InKEMHLBKPHEJGs8_RjPUsP8FJr-eTnThD0/s640/blogger-image-724857578.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNiFpZkzAiSRUf16eTuesCO4k_evRUEXX0xCvF0JIEt-SEU2hEyG47zyAHxF6BBl7r2UgEeMmDYT956YDgbN1Xk2njL0aVausw9dafUaHMKqIsWCGpdJWGd4YtKb1pR8YvpJLOG2oP9JA/s640/blogger-image--1384277151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNiFpZkzAiSRUf16eTuesCO4k_evRUEXX0xCvF0JIEt-SEU2hEyG47zyAHxF6BBl7r2UgEeMmDYT956YDgbN1Xk2njL0aVausw9dafUaHMKqIsWCGpdJWGd4YtKb1pR8YvpJLOG2oP9JA/s640/blogger-image--1384277151.jpg"></a></div></div></div><br><div><br></div><div>I am thinking of this one::</div></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMmScwJ9rk8bUR9icqywESHseS9WgnPtNWZDLPRijuW9KWNKJ9S1uiSUJiE4T5s-sKRfiCTpa-8ps3DGyMhfxp7T-hpWONl_F64QACIbL9bmO-yxpZby1KVf71TSiJRcWSphYSG76vQYw/s640/blogger-image-886171554.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMmScwJ9rk8bUR9icqywESHseS9WgnPtNWZDLPRijuW9KWNKJ9S1uiSUJiE4T5s-sKRfiCTpa-8ps3DGyMhfxp7T-hpWONl_F64QACIbL9bmO-yxpZby1KVf71TSiJRcWSphYSG76vQYw/s640/blogger-image-886171554.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vrj8K2NM6kNuDXN1B2YLB5uT9edVWlcZJAlWC_7whv_xDxYmhM9bxosl3dvRM3DPYclWLOgwEZwwgLEoP8a7n6b98EwDFqdXVblvxwwmqAVbBnqM_7Jc6EfRXtzf6CIF5ATBPqYmT8s/s640/blogger-image--387201656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vrj8K2NM6kNuDXN1B2YLB5uT9edVWlcZJAlWC_7whv_xDxYmhM9bxosl3dvRM3DPYclWLOgwEZwwgLEoP8a7n6b98EwDFqdXVblvxwwmqAVbBnqM_7Jc6EfRXtzf6CIF5ATBPqYmT8s/s640/blogger-image--387201656.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBY-pHiU00OvC9_s-lzS_FlF3T0L6pOxBnKUAxgcFXi5I5s1io5VHJR3Gup5RNY78EvhyphenhyphenJTIEiMWcP8RxUyBkPU4AkAlIzlbxA4pwcuW6bHVFtJHvk4uIwMVSdaPHkY8OG0SVPVbK1A8/s640/blogger-image--1951273745.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBY-pHiU00OvC9_s-lzS_FlF3T0L6pOxBnKUAxgcFXi5I5s1io5VHJR3Gup5RNY78EvhyphenhyphenJTIEiMWcP8RxUyBkPU4AkAlIzlbxA4pwcuW6bHVFtJHvk4uIwMVSdaPHkY8OG0SVPVbK1A8/s640/blogger-image--1951273745.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_nugqRZXJIlUjWD8yVd72qpeP3I5s1q5JxrE2zWtUlB_c3HmsKssWLMWdPQCBeI9TlMhv6cVT20LQtP0b8luKQXoexsJ3ZmPpxndRS0O5a0CQEbVzd5MS5N6d0yW_ReXUFiTu1IL5fE/s640/blogger-image-1224917116.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_nugqRZXJIlUjWD8yVd72qpeP3I5s1q5JxrE2zWtUlB_c3HmsKssWLMWdPQCBeI9TlMhv6cVT20LQtP0b8luKQXoexsJ3ZmPpxndRS0O5a0CQEbVzd5MS5N6d0yW_ReXUFiTu1IL5fE/s640/blogger-image-1224917116.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>My thoughts center around the joy these two bring me, in such different ways. But as I rejoice, I find myself mourning. Mourning for Sveta, and myself. She didn't get cuddled by her Mama as an infant. She didn't have her cries immediately answered. She didn't have anyone to lovingly bathe, dress, and feed her. She was lucky to get a diaper change every so often. And I didn't get to do any of that for her. It breaks my heart, and yet makes me so proud of her, and who God made her to be...and it makes me grateful beyond words for how God sustained and sustains her. How he is creating beauty, from ashes...</div><div><br></div><div>She is the strongest little girl I know. She fought through all sorts of adversity, was uprooted by two strangers, and has the most joy I have ever seen. She teaches me much about God's goodness and provision and protection. Today she was singing all about how God is the One True God, and some people worship other idols, but they should only worship the Real God like she does. She is an example to me daily of God's redeeming love...and most days I miss the reminder because I am too busy with a task. </div><div><br></div><div>Today I saw.</div><div>And tomorrow I will wait with anticipation to see God continue to weave her story. And in doing so, remind me of my own redemption story.</div><div><br></div><div>Praise be to God, who made this the other night:<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEjVj70FG3qDTcIjaY0xVCKsrTCK1hDuDRMFQ2A2rAFhjWeC161knd_vfgDbhBbSCznI5fstBjhXyDXTbEyOxL5dEPRYrGjNHErS5NDrC9dtfLsANX75FzQowL1geF1Ve3T_zPYCslCVY/s640/blogger-image--570148230.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEjVj70FG3qDTcIjaY0xVCKsrTCK1hDuDRMFQ2A2rAFhjWeC161knd_vfgDbhBbSCznI5fstBjhXyDXTbEyOxL5dEPRYrGjNHErS5NDrC9dtfLsANX75FzQowL1geF1Ve3T_zPYCslCVY/s640/blogger-image--570148230.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">And who orchestrated the building of this little family (post on Elliott's name to come)::</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYP3yGPdm9gf4WAF2XzdfDQZaYPByXU1F2yoAtZazgO8F3KXZCfJheRZrNy7qHPliO1caOVfyNN8YqvWsUK73TIc-t-fBJzPHb56y1Q9nHNnecM50ab32v2351ZDDMRvBg7-4IGY51GT4/s640/blogger-image--1698166012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYP3yGPdm9gf4WAF2XzdfDQZaYPByXU1F2yoAtZazgO8F3KXZCfJheRZrNy7qHPliO1caOVfyNN8YqvWsUK73TIc-t-fBJzPHb56y1Q9nHNnecM50ab32v2351ZDDMRvBg7-4IGY51GT4/s640/blogger-image--1698166012.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Uu9L3xgm4_OAbxrHUXAdL04zGZ3wMswXiR4D4kxV-Wt4la889pQO4SZ2sHTmbqg2kKXXN7YYZi8bzRkk2oP3Ae8Co4mzrOo284YO4ZoqVI_AQh4KWwDJwwV7zNUQgEyRU9X6pbPmAXg/s640/blogger-image-1300523923.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Uu9L3xgm4_OAbxrHUXAdL04zGZ3wMswXiR4D4kxV-Wt4la889pQO4SZ2sHTmbqg2kKXXN7YYZi8bzRkk2oP3Ae8Co4mzrOo284YO4ZoqVI_AQh4KWwDJwwV7zNUQgEyRU9X6pbPmAXg/s640/blogger-image-1300523923.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-34676249878924110792013-07-01T14:01:00.002-04:002013-07-01T14:01:28.950-04:00Siblings...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sveta will soon have a sibling and I have been pondering what that experience will be like for both of them. I pray that God will make them friends as well as siblings...because I've seen how much of a blessing that is.<br />
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When Barry and I first started dating, I met his brother and sister right away (like 2 or 3 days after our first date). We didn't sit down and talk, but I met them. I was always enthralled by the stories he told of their times together as kids, and growing up how they interacted. After getting married and seeing how close he is to Jill, I always hoped for a similar relationship in my own children. There is no one in this world that Barry loves like he loves Jill. He would do anything for her, just like he would for Sveta or I. It's incredible to see.<br />
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I didn't grow up with siblings close in age...at all. I was 9 when Michael was born, 13 when Abby was born, and 16 before I even knew Becca existed (she was 15 at the time). See, I don't have any full-blood siblings, which is the reason for age gaps and such. But, they are my siblings just as much as Barry's are his. It has been amazing to see in recent years how we've developed different relationships. Just last week or so, Michael called just to see how I was. Blessed me. Last night, Abby called to vent/get advice because my parents were being strict (oh, how easy you have it as the 3rd...they were way harder on me, haha!). And this morning I received an email from Becca that about made me cry. <br />
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I am beyond blessed to have siblings, who as we are getting older, we are growing closer. We are trusting in each others lives like we never had the chance before. We are talking about things that matter and encouraging each other in our faiths. (Things you can't do with someone you don't know, or who is still watching Barney as you go off to college). <br />
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I am grateful for how God is forging these relationships, and I look forward to see how He orchestrates Sveta's relationship with her new brother or sister. They will be almost 5.5 years apart, and I know she'll love the baby dearly. I can't wait to watch!</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-79718686937944785492013-06-17T12:16:00.000-04:002013-06-17T12:16:26.453-04:00Blessings like Rain Drops<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have so much to say...but I don't even know how to get it all out. I'm learning so much. God is so gracious.<br />
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Barry left for camp yesterday, and will return on Friday evening. Sveta and I will miss him greatly, and we know he'll miss us. It will be a challenging week for us all for so many reasons - only one of which is that I'm 37.5 weeks pregnant. But God...<br />
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He's here. Here's in TN with Barry. He's faithful. He's not leaving. He's not surprised by what today or this week brings. I'm choosing to believe HIM...not just believe in Him. I'm choosing to believe that His Word is true. I'm choosing to believe that I am called to be like Him, and even though my flesh doesn't always want to - I will choose to walk in His shadow.<br />
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"Do nothing <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29395c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29395c" title="See footnote c">c</a>]</sup>from <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29395d" title="See footnote d">d</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29395d" title="See footnote d">d</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29395E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup>selfishness or <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29395F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup>empty conceit, but with humility of mind <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29395G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup>regard one another as more important than yourselves; <span class="text Phil-2-4" id="en-NASB-29396"><sup class="versenum">4 </sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29396H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup>do not <i>merely</i> look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.</span> <span class="text Phil-2-5" id="en-NASB-29397"><sup class="versenum">5 </sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29397I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup>Have this attitude <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29397e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29397e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]</sup>in yourselves which was also in <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29397J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup>Christ Jesus,</span> <span class="text Phil-2-6" id="en-NASB-29398"><sup class="versenum">6 </sup>who, although He <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29398K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup>existed in the <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29398L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup>form of God, <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29398M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup>did not regard equality with God a thing to be <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29398f" title="See footnote f">f</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29398f" title="See footnote f">f</a>]</sup>grasped,</span> <span class="text Phil-2-7" id="en-NASB-29399"><sup class="versenum">7 </sup>but <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29399g" title="See footnote g">g</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29399g" title="See footnote g">g</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29399N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup>emptied Himself, taking the form of a <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29399O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup>bond-servant, <i>and</i> <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29399P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup>being made in the likeness of men.</span> <span class="text Phil-2-8" id="en-NASB-29400"><sup class="versenum">8 </sup>Being found in appearance as a man, <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29400Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup>He humbled Himself by becoming <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29400R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup>obedient to the point of death, even <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29400S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>death <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29400h" title="See footnote h">h</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29400h" title="See footnote h">h</a>]</sup>on a cross...Do all things without <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29406AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)"></sup>grumbling or disputing; <span class="text Phil-2-15" id="en-NASB-29407"><sup class="versenum">15 </sup>so that you will <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29407i" title="See footnote i">i</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29407i" title="See footnote i">i</a>]</sup>prove yourselves to be <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29407AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup>blameless and innocent, <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29407AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup>children of God above reproach in the midst of a <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29407AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)"></sup>crooked and perverse generation, among whom you <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29407j" title="See footnote j">j</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29407j" title="See footnote j">j</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29407AI" title="See cross-reference AI">AI</a>)"></sup>appear as <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29407k" title="See footnote k">k</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29407k" title="See footnote k">k</a>]</sup>lights in the world,</span> <span class="text Phil-2-16" id="en-NASB-29408"><sup class="versenum">16 </sup>holding <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29408l" title="See footnote l">l</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%202&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29408l" title="See footnote l">l</a>]</sup>fast the word of life..." Phil. 2:3-8, 14-16a</span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16">I will put others first, and stop looking out for my personal interests. I will have that as an attitude, because my Jesus chose to obey the Father and die...and I desire to be obedient as well. I will have such an attitude, that I will do it without grumbling or disputing...but rather with joy because as I hold fast to the Word of Life, I will be a light to the world. And ultimately, that's what I'm called to be.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16">So today I'm singing this song: Blessings by Laura Story...</span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16">We pray for blessings, we pray for peace<br />Comfort for family, protection while we sleep<br />We pray for healing, for prosperity<br />We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering<br />And all the while, You hear each spoken need<br />Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things<br /><br />'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops<br />What if Your healing comes through tears<br />What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near<br />What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise<br /><br />We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear<br />We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near<br />We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love<br />As if every promise from Your word is not enough<br />And all the while, You hear each desperate plea<br />And long that we'd have faith to believe<br /><br />'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops<br />What if Your healing comes through tears<br />What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near<br />What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise<br /><br />When friends betray us<br />When darkness seems to win<br />We know that pain reminds this heart<br />That this is not,<br />This is not our home<br />It's not our home<br /><br />'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops<br />What if Your healing comes through tears<br />What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near<br /><br />What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life<br />Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy<br />What if trials of this life<br />The rain, the storms, the hardest nights<br />Are your mercies in disguise</span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Phil-2-8"><span class="text Phil-2-16">I'm singing this song, because choosing this path isn't the easiest. I'd like to play the pregnant wife card and have my husband with me this week...but guess what - it's not the blessing that He wants to give. He's going to bless some other way, and I believe that Barry will be blessed by being in His presence in amazing creation, and with incredible students as he leads them into the throne room where they will worship Hm in song. </span></span><br />
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Today, I choose to be grateful for the blessings that come through tears...and the trials that are mercies in disguise.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-27943199402745585832013-05-23T16:05:00.000-04:002013-05-23T16:05:17.499-04:00God's an orchestrator...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
2 months is a long time. Sorry my friends for falling off the face of the blog-o-sphere! I won't even attempt to update you. But here's what I have GOT to share today::<br />
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God is faithful.<br />
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Here's what I wrote a while back (think August-ish of 2012):<br />
"So, here's our RADICAL plan: sell our house in Indianapolis, sell our house in Greensburg, move in with Barry's parents, and spend WAY less and pay off our debts as fast as we can. People think we are crazy, they don't understand, they think we're somehow "off." I'm ok with that...because I don't want to be like the majority of American Christians who live no differently than the rest of America. I don't want to go with the cultural norm, I want to go with the Biblical Command. I'm shaken by the fact that we are more wealthy than 99% of ALL people. ALL. Me. Wealthy. I don't see myself as that...and that's wrong. So, we're trying to follow Jesus and live as He calls."<br />
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As most of you know the selling of our house in Greensburg went WAY quicker than we expected...we've been living with Barry's parents (who are I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E. by the way...if you don't know them, you should), and were attempting to spend WAY less, without sacrificing date nights/family days, and a little vacation to Georgia to see my sis-in-law.<br />
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Well, here's the next big thing:<br />
We close on the Indy house on Thursday. 1 week from today, we'll be house free...and we'll be so so close to debt free. I'll write a post about how close once we know exact figures after next week. Many of you probably are wondering: how long was it on the market, how many offers, etc. Let me tell you a little story.<br />
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We've had incredible renters in the house for about 3 years. In the fall we tried to put it on the market while they were living in it and planning on moving into a house of their own soon...but their house fell through and it was just too hard to list while having them their. We decided to wait, and pulled the listing after not long at all. They've continued to live there and look for houses. <br />
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We let them know at the beginning of April, that we planned on listing the house on June 1st and that they'd need to be out so that we could do so. We were prepared to pick up mortgage payments for a time so that we could sell the house. Well, a few weeks ago - Barry got a text that said something like this from the renter..."please call ASAP, we'd like to talk about buying the house."<br />
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What? Seriously? So, after setting a selling price, going back and forth a bit, and deciding to go without a realtor...we signed a purchase agreement...and now have a date for closing. Incredible...since the house NEVER went on the market this time around, and we are saving about 7% by not using a realtor.<br />
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I look back at what I wrote in August, and never imagined how God would orchestrate all of this. We sought God and decided to follow through with what we felt He was asking of us...and He is pouring out His blessings on us. He is so so faithful. He's amazing...beyond my comprehension. I'm so grateful I serve such a BIG God. </div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-36318441787461969652013-03-29T10:41:00.000-04:002013-03-29T10:41:09.017-04:00Mercy Found Link-Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Oh how I love my friends over at MercyFound Ministries. They are hosting a fun link-up today...and even if you don't blog, you can head over to <a href="http://www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog">www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog</a> (AFTER you read my High, Low, and Lesson Learned) and join in. Just comment in the comments section!!</div>
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HIGH</div>
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Yesterday, we were leaving a little amish store close to our house, and Sveta was enjoying chasing the kittens and waving at the horses. As we drove away, she continued to wave at the kittens, saying, "Bye. I love you. And remember, God made you special."</div>
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I don't know where she comes up with these things. Barry and I don't say things like that. I don't think...but she's crazy creative and is constantly saying something hilarious. Amazing that she's only been speaking English for a little over a year!</div>
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LOW</div>
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I don't really have one this week. It's been a great week. Maybe the fact that I overdid it yesterday and my back really hurt would be it. I struggled to walk normally. It still hurts a bit today, but I can walk again!</div>
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LESSON LEARNED</div>
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Don't overdo it. It's a bad idea at 26 weeks pregnant, when you are as swollen as I am to make muffins, clean the pantry, and the bathroom all in the same day. Small steps.</div>
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Also, I must mention that today is GOOD Friday. And my lesson learned in the spiritual realm this week has been to remember what Jesus went through on the cross so many years ago. Not only did He suffer physically, but He was seperated from the Father, and the emotional and spiritual anguish He must have felt, I just can't fathom. I am grateful for His sacrifice...for by His wounds, I have been healed.</div>
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<br />Praise Him.</div>
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apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-18788920231190842252013-03-18T13:17:00.001-04:002013-03-18T13:17:25.909-04:00St. Patty's day presents...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t get to link up with MercyFound Ministries this
weekend…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sadly, my weekend got away from me before I realized
it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I really enjoy looking back
over my week and sharing with all of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, here’s my high, low, and lesson learned anyway!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">HIGH::</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last night Barry came home from the church late, and I was
already asleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He woke me and gave me a
card to read (which I did so with blurry eyes).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a St. Patrick’s day card…which we don’t actually celebrate, but
the writing inside was the perfect encouragement I needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And inside the envelope was a ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Complete with a pearl, that he slipped on my
oh so fat finger…because…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One night this week I was overcome with emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was convicted about how much I expect out
of Sveta, and how I don’t give enough grace…and was reminded of how quick to
become frustrated I have been lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
want to be able to just say, “oh, it’s my hormones.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But guess what my friends…hormones, or not…it’s
sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I want to deal harshly with
sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God does, and I should too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t just chalk it up to being pregnant, I
need to deal with my emotions in a healthy way…not by just getting frustrated
over little things that really aren’t a big deal at all.</span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also was just sad and feeling like I wasn’t myself. For
one, I’m swollen (you’ve heard about this).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, despite gaining weight (which I’m really ok with), I’m just
heartbroken that I can’t wear my wedding ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not because I worry what Barry will think, or because I even care what
others will say…but because of what that ring symbolizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in tears talking to Barry about it…which
is why last night I was so blessed by the fact that he went out and bought one
for me to wear while my fingers are just HUGE.</span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I keep looking at my new ring, and I don’t care if he got it
out of a gumball machine…it’s a reminder to me of his love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a reminder to me of how he loves me like
Christ loves His church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And let me tell
you friends, my husband is excellent at loving me as an example of how Christ
loves His church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am beyond blessed,
and so grateful for Barry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learn more
about Jesus everyday by watching him learn, love, and live.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">LESSON LEARNED::</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not only have I learned from Barry this week, but also in my
breakdown over all sorts of things – it boiled down to this::<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want control.</span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I’ve been trying to find things to control (Sveta’s
behavior, our family eating plan/schedule, etc).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do, however, feel a responsibility to give
my family healthy meals to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some days
I do well, others, I fail m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.y.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, God is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he’s given me
new insights, and a desire to fill myself only with what is honorable and
pleasing to Him.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In my research, I found this gem of a website:: </span><a href="http://www.keeperofthehome.org/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">www.keeperofthehome.org</span></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve perused it before, but not like I am preparing to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want all the information I can…I want to
remember what I learned from Jen Hatmaker’s book “7” and I want to live simply
and radically for my Jesus.</span></div>
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-73872199887680537322013-03-08T11:11:00.001-05:002013-03-08T11:11:53.553-05:00Baby. Carpal Tunnel. Blessings.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>
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<br />
<a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/" target="_blank"><img alt="MercyFound" border="0" src="http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt141/mommy02three/MercyFoundMinistriesbutton_zpse4a4d945.jpg" /><br />
</a></center>
<center>
MercyFound Ministries is an incredible ministry to families who are in the process of adopting! Hop over and check out their blog:: <a href="http://www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog">www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog</a></center>
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</center>
<center>
Before you do:: Here's my Week in Review</center>
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</center>
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High::</center>
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The baby is kicking like MAD. It is the coolest feeling in the world. Sadly, Barry still can't feel the baby. Hopefully in the next few weeks. </center>
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AND</center>
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Sveta is learning so much about Jesus. The other night we put her in the tub and she said she didn't want to be all alone. Then she said, "wait, I'm not all alone. God is with me." I love that she is understanding who He is and how much He loves her. Praying that one day she will decide to live her life for Him and only for Him. Thankful.</center>
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Low::</center>
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My pregnancy has caused me to swell like a giant balloon. Or at least my fingers to feel like sausages. This has in turn caused Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in my right wrist/hand (yeah, I'm ONLY 23 weeks). Needless to say ordinary tasks hurt (some days are better than others), but they thing that gets me the most is that it is hard to write without it hurting. I am a journaler through and through. I write my prayers out each morning in my journal and can look back over years and see how God has answered my prayers. I hope and pray that my hand hurting doesn't cause a decrease in my prayer life since I can't write. Typing, or just praying aloud will have to increase!! :)</center>
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Lesson Learned::</center>
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It is ok to accept help. A friend of mine called last night to inform me that her husband would be picking Sveta up at 8am and they'd bring her back after lunch at the earliest. This way my sick husband could rest, and I could study and get some things accomplished. WHAT. A. BLESSING. </center>
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8am came. I sent Sveta off. I've studied, gone over personal and family goals, updated my calendar to sync online, scheduled family events, etc for the next few months, am blogging, and next will meal plan. I have done this all from the comfort of my couch, without interruption. Incredible. </center>
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</center>
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So, when a friend offers to help...don't be prideful and say, oh it's ok, we don't need it. TAKE it. Be blessed by their willingness, and soak in the silence! And...do this for your friends and family. Really. Bless each other. The end.</center>
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-38660952518368451952013-03-01T08:52:00.001-05:002013-03-01T08:52:23.930-05:00High, Low, Lesson Learned: My Week in Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/" target="_blank"><img alt="MercyFound" border="0" src="http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt141/mommy02three/MercyFoundMinistriesbutton_zpse4a4d945.jpg" /></a></center>
<br />
I'm participating in a link-up with MercyFound Ministries today. This is a highlight of my week, because they ask us to share a high, low, and a lesson learned. It's a great way to look back at your week and review it! Don't forget to link-up yourself (if you are a blogging type) or leave your answers in the comment section over at <a href="http://www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog">www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog</a>. <br />
<br />Before you make your own...here's my Week in Review!<br />
<br />
High:: <br />
<br />
I got to go on a date with my husband last night. It's been a crazy few weeks around here, and it was so great to just be with him. We just ran into town to have dinner, stop at the auction house, and run through Goodwill. Knowing that Sveta was in good hands with my dear friend Rachel, helped us both just to relax and enjoy being out together. So So good.<br />
<br />
If you don't still date your spouse...you should really start!! :)<br />
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Low::<br />
<br />
One morning this week, as I was finishing up making breakfast for my little family (sausage, egg, cheese bagels...yum) Sveta walked into the dining room. (Remember, that the last couple of weeks have been crazy, so I decided to get up and make a nice breakfast so we could all be together before Barry had to go off to work). She immediately started crying and said something like, "I'm sorry, I peed." I asked why she had peed in her pants, and she told me that Daddy was taking too long. I gentle reminded her that if Daddy was using the potty, and she couldn't wait, that she had waited too long to go potty in the first place. I told her to go stand in the tub. <br />
<br />
As I walked through the house, my socks began to get wet, and I could see pee marks on the wood floor of the entry way. Then, right outside the bathroom was a puddle. She had peed, then proceeded to walk through the house and get pee on the carpet in the hall, living room, and dining room. WHAT A MESS. I was so mad. She's been waiting too long because she doesn't want to stop playing. <br />
<br />Needless to say, she took a bath. Barry helped clean the floor while I got her in the tub. Barry ate his breakfast quickly so he could wash her, and Sveta ate her breakfast cold. So much for a family morning! :)<br />
<br />
Lesson Learned::<br />
<br />
Don't automatically freak-out when a nurse calls you and tells you that the results of your test were "pretty normal."<br />
<br />
Because, let me tell you...I DID! I had an ultrasound last Friday, and she called with the reading of the results. She literally said, "pretty normal." And then proceeded to tell me that he'd like the ultrasound repeated in 2 months. WHAT??<br />
<br />I asked what "pretty normal" meant, and informed her that my next appointment was 4 weeks away, when he'd go over the results in more detail. She immediately apologized for her poor choice of words...but I'm still a little concerned over my "pretty normal" results.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-76453893965061575582013-02-27T22:21:00.001-05:002013-02-27T22:21:18.680-05:00God's Word is a Lamp<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I don't know what I'd do without the WORD of God. I really don't. It's my hope, my strength, my song, my prayer. Because it's God.<br />
<br />
I wanted to share a verse that has been on my heart tonight, but then I flipped a page in my Bible and found another to share, and another, and another, etc. So, tonight, instead of just copying and pasting the entire Bible on here...I will share 3 verses. And then ask...<br />
<br />
What is God teaching you? <br />
What scripture are you holding on to today? this week? this month? this year?<br />
What truth is becoming alive in your life?<br />
<br />
Here's my 3:<br />
1. "But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 1 Thessalonians 3:3<br />
<br />
2. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you." 1 Peter 5:6-10<br />
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3. I can't pick. I really can't. So, I guess you just get these 2 tonight. :)<br />
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-17771835132448183202013-02-26T17:37:00.001-05:002013-02-26T17:37:12.741-05:00MercyFound Ministries...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm a guest blogger today. That sounds so important. Haha!<br />
<br />
Check it out...and check out what MercyFound is all about. They are the organization I've been participating with on their link-up on Fridays! <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog">www.mercyfoundministries.com/blog</a><br />
<br />
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-65785482087126261292013-02-25T17:01:00.001-05:002013-02-25T17:01:51.760-05:00I need YOUR help!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As you know, my heart is burdened for the orphans all over the world, and especially in Russia. I know several of you who share my heart, or who at least understand why my heart would break for these children!<br />
<br />
I have exciting news: YOU can be part of what God wants to do in our community around the issue of the orphan crisis. I believe that God wants more people to be aware of the crisis and ways in which they can support the orphan. I realize that not everyone is called to adopt, but I do know that there are so many ways to be involved and to bless an orphan, even when not adopting.<br />
<br />
So, we are planning to have an Orphan Care/Adoption Conference on November 1st and 2nd. It will focus on educating people on the worldwide orphan crisis and how they can get involved, whether it be through adoption, sponsorship, visiting, etc.<br />
<br />
When I say "we" I mean a handful of people I go to church with, and maybe a couple others...but we need more help! We need help planning this event so that many will come and hear all about God's heart for the orphan! Would you be willing to sit on a planning team to help get this event off the ground? Would you be willing to share your adoption story on video (adoptees, adoptive parents, birthmoms)? Would you be willing to come speak and share your expertise at the conferences? <br />
<br />
Here are the committees we still have seats available on:<br />
1. Logistics - sound, tech, lights, security, facility plan, etc..<br />
2. Hospitality - food, decorations, greeting, etc.<br />
3. Advertisement & Promotions - just what it sounds like<br />
4. Business/Organization Sponsorships - budget planning, obtain corporate sponsors, etc.<br />
5. Agencies/Organizations - work with agencies that will be speaking and/or will have booths<br />
6. Prayer/Education - planning for prayer up to event, during the event, a prayer area, and the breakout sessions for the weekend.<br />
7. Documentation/Videos - take photos, edit videos prior to event, etc.<br />
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Please let me know if you are interested in this event! You can comment here, or email me at <a href="mailto:orphanadoptionconference@gmail.com">orphanadoptionconference@gmail.com</a> <br />
<br />
Thanks for considering being a part of something so BIG! <br />
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-12955510226571831862013-02-22T15:16:00.001-05:002013-02-22T15:20:59.579-05:00Week in Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<center>
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<a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/" target="_blank"><img alt="MercyFound" border="0" src="http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt141/mommy02three/MercyFoundMinistriesbutton_zpse4a4d945.jpg" /></a></center>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23.9px; text-align: left;"><a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog" style="color: #0a5294;">MercyFound Ministries</a> is hosting a link-up each weekend for us to share our high, low, and lesson learned for the week. It's a great way to stop and reflect, and record what's happening! Before you jump over to join in the fun, here's MY week in review:</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">HIGH::</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">Sveta's birthday was this week. We had so much fun doing all sorts of things. She got to play with a friend, had an impromptu party at church, went out to lunch, and dinner, and played at a great indoor playground in the area. Fun was had by all at her family party, and on her birthday. She's 5. My little girl is 5. Unreal. </span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">LOW::</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">Lots of things are going on that are just hard. Plain hard. They aren't fun...but my prayer continues to be that God be glorified.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">LESSON LEARNED::</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;">God has already won. He's already defeated the enemy, and He has given me all of the tools I need to stand firm in my faith. I just have to use them, and trust in Him. Ephesians 6:10-13 is what I'm memorizing right now...and I'm holding on to these truths!</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
"Finally, <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29348S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>be strong in the Lord and in <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29348T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup>the strength of His might. <span class="text Eph-6-11" id="en-NASB-29349"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29349U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup>Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29349V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup>schemes of the devil.</span> <span class="text Eph-6-12" id="en-NASB-29350"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup>For our <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup>struggle is not against <sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NASB-29350e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%206&version=NASB#fen-NASB-29350e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup>flesh and blood, but <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup>against the rulers, against the powers, against the <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup>world forces of this <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup>darkness, against the <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup>spiritual <i>forces</i> of wickedness in <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29350AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)"></sup>the heavenly <i>places</i>.</span> <span class="text Eph-6-13" id="en-NASB-29351"><sup class="versenum">13 </sup>Therefore, take up <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29351AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup>the full armor of God, so that you will be able to <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29351AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)"></sup>resist in <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-29351AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup>the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm."</span></div>
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apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-50537050884976570492013-02-08T11:18:00.003-05:002013-02-08T11:18:58.310-05:00525,600 minutes.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
1 year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes.<br />
<br />
"In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?"<br />
<br />
How do you measure a year in the life of a sweet little Russian child who was adopted by her family 1 year ago today. I can't measure it. I just can't quantify all that she's learned, been through, experienced. It's too difficult. <br />
<br />
So, instead I will rejoice in the love that she's experienced in this year...and I will pray that she will experience even more in the following years. <br />
<br />
A year ago today she flew on an airplane halfway around the world with two strangers that she was told were her Mama and Papa. She stayed awake over the entire ocean, and colored on a little white and pink pony that she still occasionally sleeps with. She wore a little sweater dress that won't fit over her head anymore. She was so brave. She is so brave.<br />
<br />
Last night Barry had her walk out to the car and told her we were on our way. It was getting dark and when we got outside she was about halfway to the car. She said, "I was a little bit scared, but I was being brave. I didn't even cry." It took me to a year ago. I imagine that she would have said the same thing if I was able to communicate with her at that point.<br />
<br />
And you know what...I would have repeated it back to her. <br />
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A year ago, today, she met her grandparents and some aunts and uncles for the first time. She met friends that she's kept, and our friends who prayed her home, and who've supported us immensely. <br />
<br />
A year ago, today, she set foot on American soil...and became an American citizen.<br />
<br />
A year ago, today, she slept in her own bed, in her own house, for the first time in her life. <br />
<br />
And let me tell you, she's come along way in a year...but more than that...I've seen what God can do in a small year. In just 525,600 minutes. <br />
<br />He heals. He changes hearts. He teaches. He loves. He forgives. He is.<br />
<br />
And, I'm so grateful that He put Sveta in our lives. She is a constant reminder of his goodness, faithfulness, and love. She is a joy and a challenge...and each day she causes me to seek His face more and more. And I am thankful.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-3105760031735320802013-02-05T16:00:00.001-05:002013-02-05T16:00:49.727-05:00For His Glory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As I sit to write this, I look around realizing that I could decide to do any number of things while Sveta is resting today...but here I sit. Ignoring the fact that I need to vacuum (although doing that while a child sleeps is NOT an option), and ignoring the stack of papers that need to be filed, or the ones that I desperately need to find in the files. They will be there when I am done typing in 10 minutes. I'll deal with that then.<br />
<br />
I just want to share something I'm learning, and I hope it's an encouragement to some. I am learning (and have been) that there are only so many hours in the day. I know that sounds silly. I've known for a while that a day is 24 hours. But...I really didn't realize how to utilize those hours best until recently. Everyday is a battle I must fight to make sure that I am using the time well. Each day I must look at what the objective of the day must be. Is it the errands, is it cleaning, or time with Sveta, or is it have I given God glory?<br />
<br />
I'm trying to make each day first and foremost about God's glory. In whatever I do, have I done it unto Him? Or have I just done it? So, with that in mind...I try to use each day to accomplish tasks that will bring Him glory, and that have a purpose. <br />
<br />
Each day I try to spend time...<br />
enjoying God in His glory.<br />
enjoying and teaching and playing with Sveta...and showing her His glory.<br />
enjoying and learning from my incredible husband.<br />
enjoying a little relaxing time where I can just sit and rest.<br />
and I try to clean a little and cook a little too...because that is serving. Serving my family and serving my God.<br />
<br />
A woman said to me this morning that bringing up children in the love and grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ is one of the highest callings a woman can receive. And, I would add that I am learning that being a pastor's wife is a high calling as well (as are many others).<br />
<br />
But I'm learning to embrace this call. This spot where I find myself. <br />
<br />
So today, I will write on my blog for God's glory. <br />
I will help Sveta make her "S" the same size on top as on the bottom...for His glory.<br />
I will load the dishwasher...for His glory.<br />
I will eat pizza with my little family at Chicago's Pizza to support The Boaz Project for dinner...for His glory...and for His work with orphans.<br />
I will ride in the passenger seat on the way to pizza listening to my love tell me about his day. I will rejoice when he shares how he was able to share the gospel with someone today...<br />
<br />I will rejoice knowing that he was able to be God's voice. And I will rejoice knowing that I was His hands: hugging, wiping, folding, stiring, writing, holding.<br />
<br />
And it will ALL be for His glory.<br />
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-35660210747098337712013-02-01T10:37:00.002-05:002013-02-01T10:37:25.004-05:00My First "Link-Up"<center>
<a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/" target="_blank"><img alt="MercyFound" border="0" src="http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt141/mommy02three/MercyFoundMinistriesbutton_zpse4a4d945.jpg" /></a></center>
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<a href="http://mercyfoundministries.com/blog/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="MercyFound" src="http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt141/mommy02three/MercyFoundMinistriesbutton_zpse4a4d945.jpg>
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As I mentioned in my previous post, I get to be involved with an incredible NEW orphan ministry. Which, not much makes me happier!! I'm thrilled to be part of a link-up today with them (through their blog) where many bloggers and adoptive families can share a high, a low, and a lesson learned from the week.</div>
<br />
So, here's my high, low, and lesson learned (although not in that order)...once you've read mine, check out the link above to read more stories from adoptive families!<br />
<br />
LOW:: Let's just get this out of the way now!<br />
Our community has suffered a few losses this week, and it's been difficult for many. The one that hits our family the closest is the death of a police officer who is well known in our town. The circumstances surrounding his death make it even more difficult for many to handle. Barry (my husband) has been asked to do the funeral tomorrow, and he feels very honored to be able to be part of a celebration of life. But, it's my low because it's a hard situation to know how to help him, the family, and others who are affected. It's also kind of played into my lesson learned...<br />
<br />
LESSON LEARNED:: John 3:36<br />
As I have been praying for how to support Barry effectively, I've also been reading through the book of John. <br />
<br />Let me give some background...as a pastor, Barry, has many suprise responsibilities I will call them. Late night visits to the hospital, evening meetings with different people about various things, etc. This week has been full of unexpected and challenging meetings for him. As his helper, I want to help, but so often I feel so inadequate. I make sure his clothes are clean to wear, that he has dinners to eat (except when I get strep in the middle of this week and we eat the same thing 3 meals in a row)...but somehow it doesn't seem like I'm ministering to him, or to any one else enough.<br />
<br />
And then...we sat up talking one night about what God was teaching us. I shared with him about John 3:36 which says, "He who <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-26157A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who <sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NASB-26157B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” I found it interesting that the opposite of belief was disobedience, not unbelief. I looked up the greek words and found that they are different. Meaning, basically, that the belief creates an action in the person who believes, which is why it isn't simply unbelief...it's the lack of a belief that creates action. <br />
<br />
So, the next night Barry came home and shared about a meeting he had with a student that evening...and he used that verse to explain something to the student about Jesus. He was so excited, and I was blessed. My first ministry is to my family...and sometimes I forget that my ministry might be used by Barry to minister to others as well.<br />
<br />
HIGH:: Sveta's lived with us for 1 year!<br />
Today marks our first full day as a family together. A year ago, yesterday, we picked Sveta up from her orphanage forever. What an incredible feeling.<br />
<br />
We didn't do much to mark the occasion (see above with crazy week and a mama who has strep) but we talked about it a few times throughout the day. Then Barry and I reflected on that day, and our year. Sveta was so trusting and yet so scared. She didn't sleep much that first night as she lay in a big bed between us. I don't think it helped that Barry was sicker than he's ever been...but she would reach over and rub his head (even though she wasn't sure about him yet). She's overcome so much loss, and is a complete joy. She's a brave, intelligent, beautiful, caring, sweet little girl. She's blessed us beyond belief in just a short year...and we can't wait to celebrate more years with our Sveta.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-91201668657520996982013-01-29T16:05:00.001-05:002013-01-29T16:05:35.445-05:00Another journey begins...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have been contemplating whether or not to even begin to write on here again, or if I should change blogs (like many who have completed an adoption do). I, however, felt inspired yesterday to start writing again. So, I finally got to it...<br />
<br />
Today. I want to just touch on some of the adventures that we are embarking upon in 2013.<br />
<br />
1. Sveta has begin learning more and more each day, and we are now using a bit of Kindergarten curriculum during school. She's working on sight words, reading simple sentences, and counting by 10s and 5s. We've been working on different Bible stories and verses as well. She's incredible. I am amazed daily by her ability to retain information, how quickly she learns, and how faithfully she believes. <br />
<br />
2. I am getting involved with some "guest blogging" with MercyFound Ministries. (Doesn't that sound official??) My friend Melissa, who brought her son home from Russia a few months after we came home, is involved in beginning a ministry to families who are adopting. I get to be a guest blogger, and I'm honored to have been included, and excited about what God will do through me in this avenue of service!! Check them out here:: <a href="http://www.mercyfoundministries.com/">www.mercyfoundministries.com</a> <br />
<br />
3. We are having a baby (in case you haven't heard). The baby is due to arrive on July 4th...and it's nice to have an estimated due date this time around. Expecting a baby while carrying him/her is very different, and yet, strangely similar to expecting a baby while waiting from halfway around the world from her. Sveta is thrilled to become a big sister, and would like to name the baby "Lily" if it's a girl. That's what she names everything...don't really know where it came from! I know she'll be an incredible big sister!!<br />
<br />
Anyway, expecting. There's excitement, there's fear, there's pain. This time the pain is so different. It doesn't come from not knowing how your daughter is feeling...it comes from the feeling your baby gives you as you attempt to eat. It doesn't come from the ache you feel from missing your daughter who is halfway around the world...it comes from the ache in your back, feet, neck, shoulders, stomach, and places you didn't even know could ache. It doesn't come from the disappointment of things being put on hold because someone went on vacation...it comes from the desire for some rest and yet not finding any because you just can't sleep more than maybe 3 hours without waking for some reason or another. SO different.<br />
<br />
And yet...the same. <br />
I am preparing for baby. Just like I prepared for Sveta. I'm reading info on breastfeeding, instead of on children who hoard. I'm reading about baby gear instead of attachment and bonding...but I'm researching and preparing. <br />
<br />
I am excited. To have a child placed into my care to love and teach. Just like I was with Sveta. <br />
<br />
I'm sure there are many many other things I could touch on...but I leave you with this question:<br />
<br />
What are you embarking upon in 2013? I hope to share more of my journey with you, in hopes that you'd be encouraged along your own path. I pray that you'd walk that path closely with Jesus. It is certainly the only way I am able to still be walking along any path.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-37098177830209352552012-11-01T13:25:00.001-04:002012-11-01T13:25:54.045-04:00Adoption Awareness Month Begins!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
November:<br />
<br />
It begins the season I love so so much, even though I HATE being cold...somehow there is something just plain beautiful and inviting in a snow covered tree, and sipping hot chocolate by a fire.<br />
<br />
This month also marks National Adoption Awareness Month. So, my goal this month is to make you all more aware. :) Hope you are up for it!<br />
<br />
I just received a brand new curriculum on adoption and God's heart behind it! It seems pretty incredible, although I've not had a chance to dive in too deep, yet. I am planning to hold a "conference" of sorts to walk through the curriculum with anyone interested in God's heart for orphans and/or adoption. I am going to need HELP! So, if this is something you are interested in, please let me know if and what you'd like to help with!<br />
<br />
Here's your assignment for today/this weekend: look up what God has to say about orphans in the Bible. Seriously...look it up. You'll find some amazing things about how He created provisions for the fatherless, how He calls His followers to care for the orphan more than once, and how He adopts each one of us into His family, so that we are no longer orphans.<br />
<br />
Check out these videos on youtube...and ask yourself, "Why Wouldn't I?" Why wouldn't I decide to be like Christ and open my home and heart to a child who needs a home, a family, and Jesus? (And be honest with yourself about the answer...I'd love to chat about what you found out). Trust me, I'm sure there's many reasons why you wouldn't: finances, age, other children in the home, fear (that they won't be easy, of what others think, of your life changing), etc.) <br />
<br />
Then think about God. What if He had decided NOT to give you a home, a family, and Salvation? What if He would have just left us to our sinful nature, and not adopted us in? <br />
<br />
Adoption is a life choice. It's a hard road. But it's a blessed road. And it's an incredible picture of the Gospel of Jesus Christ...it's a picture to a child, to a family, and to many that watch your story unfold as a reflection and as a part of His Greater Story.<br />
<br />
"Why Wouldn't I?" By Peder Eide <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfJIgpPtbBc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfJIgpPtbBc</a><br />
LoubaSing (Sveta in Russia) <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMoV-xOaEZM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMoV-xOaEZM</a><br />
Steve and Beth's Story (TISSUES needed) <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/steve2xl">http://www.youtube.com/user/steve2xl</a><br />
</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-12170924335330880672012-09-19T13:39:00.001-04:002012-09-19T13:39:46.628-04:00Wordy Wednesday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So much to report, and yet, I have little ability to find the words to say...I've hesitated to blog because I just don't feel the need to vent and update like I did while in the "waiting" stages.<br />
<br />
5 topics for today:<br />
<br />
1. New house<br />
2. Family Time<br />
3. Pampered Chef<br />
4. Adoption<br />
5. School<br />
<br />
Here goes:<br />
1. New house - It's official. Our address has been changed, and mail should begin to arrive next week. We still have a little work to do on getting things out of the garage at the old house, but the new house is shaping up just fine.<br />
<br />
For those who do not know, we moved in to an "apartment" in my in-laws home. They have been so so gracious to help us maintain our own "home" and have cleared out tons of space for us to store our things. It truly is a blessing. They're GREAT! Sveta only has "escaped" into their side of the house a few times, and we're working on when that is appropriate, and when it's not! Haha...she will get it eventually (maybe). <br />
<br />
2. Family Time - I'm looking for ways to make our family time purposeful and deliberate...so that we are spending quality time together doing things that we enjoy and bring us rest...rather than just being near each other. Any ideas are helpful!! I'm excited about family and friend field trips I've got planned, and hopefully starting some holiday traditions with our little family. This year will be the first that Barry and I have put a Christmas tree up together...and I LOVE Christmas time...so it makes me happy.<br />
<br />
I also have been trying to plan meals more effectively so that we have more time to be together without me laboring in the kitchen. My new plan starts next week. I've created 8 weeks of meals, grocery lists, and recipes, so I can grab a week and GO. Hopefully this will work well. I'll let you know (if I remember). <br />
<br />
3. Pampered Chef - I love working for this business, but I'm struggling with how much to throw myself into it. I enjoy it immensely, but I don't want it to become a focus over my family. I pray that I will be able to use it to serve and assist my family...and that it doesn't become an idol.<br />
<br />
I'm pretty excited about a few new ideas I have for shows, and how I can use my products to make QUICK dinners for my family. And, I want to use the business for His glory, not my own. I'm learning a lot about how to use facebook, and how not to use it...and I've used it incorrectly to try to promote PC before. So, I am sorry. It will not happen again.<br />
<br />
4. Adoption - There's still paperwork to be done that I keep avoiding. I just want to spend time with Sveta and watch her grow. But, she needs a social security number, a passport, and other things too. Argh...Paperwork is not my friend.<br />
<br />
On a different note, my friend Melissa finally has Hudson home! Praise God!<br />
My friend Jennifer, is going to get "sweet girl" sometime next month from an orphanage I've visited multiple times.<br />
My dear friends, Mitch and Courtney, and praying about the next steps in their adoption process.<br />
And, me, well, I'm praying about how to get our church/community educated about adoption: foster, domestic, and international. Curious about how you can get involved? Let me know, maybe we can work together on CCOGB and Greensburg! I don't have time to create something on my own to educate, but I do have info on lots of resources.<br />
<br />
5. School - OH MY GOODNESS!! Sveta is doing so great in school...and I'm channeling my inner preschool teacher these days. We've created a word wall for her sight words, a calendar, a little pocket chart, and a weather and seasons chart. I'm going to cut out shapes to cut number of school days, and I'm hoping for a little white board or chalk board or writing tablet to practice different things on! It's like our own little classroom in her new HUGE bedroom. She even has 2 little old school desks from a nearby school that her Nana had. So great. I'll try to post a pic sometime!<br />
<br />
Here's a list of some of the things she can do:<br />
1. Name and name sounds of all letters (upper and lowercase)<br />
2. Sound out consonant - vowel - consonant words (bat, hop, etc)<br />
3. Recognize the words a, and, the, I, cat, day<br />
4. Spell her first name<br />
5. Write her first name<br />
6. Write capital letters A - W<br />
7. Write some lowercase letters<br />
8. Count to 60 <br />
9. Recognize numbers 1-20<br />
10. Recite at least 3 Bible Verses: Phil. 2:14, John 3:16, Col. 2:10<br />
<br />
She ROCKS.<br />
<br />
P.S. - The cost of our adoption is on my to do list to figure out. We've had several people ask where we are on the total cost, and on funding. Our Boaz account has been emptied, but the only expenses left are the post-placement reports. :) Praise God.</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-20783306495824395812012-08-21T14:20:00.000-04:002012-08-21T14:23:52.727-04:00Confessions of a Writer's Failure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I l.o.v.e. to write. Not poetry, not fiction, but just write. I love great pens (I'm kind of a sucker for a great pen) and I love to get a new journal. I love the feel of cardstock when I write on a card. I love even typing my thoughts as I think them, and writing out prayers or letters (some of which I never even give). But, here's my confession...as much as I want to be really good at writing a handwritten note, putting it in an envelope, addressing it, making sure it has correct postage, and getting it in the mailbox, I'm not good at it at all. I write notes all the time to find them months later without a stamp. <br />
<br />
Let me start by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you gave, and you did not receive a thank you note. I even had Sveta color pictures to send as notes once. They are no longer able to be found. I really want to express my appreciation for each individual gift and gesture, but now have no memory able to keep track of it all. Sadly, I have failed. Failed at writing thank you notes diligently. Failed at thank you each properly for all of the sacrifices you have made to bring Sveta home.<br />
<br />
So, here's my attempt to say thank you for being part of our lives for the last 19 months (or more):<br />
<br />
Thank you. <br />
Thank you,<br />
for praying,<br />
for encouraging,<br />
for bringing meals,<br />
for buying toys, clothes, food, etc.<br />
for sharing in the cost of our adoption,<br />
for donating items to help ofset the cost of the adoption,<br />
for loving us, <br />
for loving Sveta,<br />
for loving Jesus,<br />
and orphans.<br />
<br />
There have been so many who have shared the financial burden of adoption with us, and we cannot thank you enough. I've not got the complete total figured, but it was well over what we anticipated spending to begin with...and yet, GOD has provided so many to join with us and bring Sveta home.<br />
<br />
There have been so many who've brought a meal over, given a gift card, or treated us to ice cream right when we needed it.<br />
<br />
There are many who've sent encouraging notes, emails, comments, texts, etc...and without those we would have been so discouraged.<br />
<br />
There are many who respected our need to protect Sveta when she first came home...and it's paid off. She's bonding well, and has a place in our family and knows it. She's amazing...and she's already learning about who Jesus is (thanks to many of you).<br />
<br />
We are so grateful for all that you sacrificed to help Sveta come home. She is a joy to us everyday and we are so thankful that you were willing to be part of Sveta's story.<br />
<br />
Are you willing to be part of another orphan's story? (No, we're not planning to adopt again...yet)<br />
I am so thankful that many took part in bringing Sveta home, now I wonder how many other orphans could have a home if we were willing to sacrifice again. Let me know if you'd be interested in helping Greensburg as a community to be more aware of the needs of the fatherless in our community and world. Let me know if you'd be willing to give some of your time to educate some, advocate for some, or even adopt some.<br />
<br />
Check these websites out, and stay tuned for ways to get involved::<br />
<a href="http://www.boazproject.org/">www.boazproject.org</a><br />
<a href="http://www.reecesrainbow.org/">www.reecesrainbow.org</a><br />
<a href="http://www.projecthopeful.org/">www.projecthopeful.org</a><br />
<a href="http://www.showhope.org/">www.showhope.org</a><br />
<a href="http://www.summit9.org/">http://www.summit9.org/</a><br />
<br />
Let me know what you believe you need to do in response to Micah 6:8 and James 1:27. I would LOVE to hear!!<br />
<br />
And, thanks again for taking this journey with us!</div>
apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-57590061148459726082012-08-09T14:43:00.001-04:002012-08-09T14:43:49.669-04:006 months...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So, in my last post I talked about how Barry and I have felt that we need to live radically, and how both houses are now on the market (Greensburg and Greenwood/Indianapolis). Well, we have an accepted offer on the Greensburg house and the "Sale Pending" sign is now in our yard. Incredible.<br />
<br />
The first two people that saw the house made offers. The first was GREAT. The second we rejected because it was way off from what we wanted to get out of it. God is working in huge ways just on this. Unreal. And, yet, it is real.<br />
<br />
This week I started preschool with Sveta. So far, so good. She and I are both enjoying it...and she's learning so quickly!!<br />
<br />
Yesterday was our "6 months home" day! We ate potato soup to celebrate. :)<br />
<br />
She's been home 6 months: Things she knows/does/has said/eats, etc...<br />
<br />
1. Can count to 30 (except most days she skips 15 and 22)<br />
2. Can count back from 10 to 1.<br />
3. Knows all of her letters.<br />
4. Knows all letter sounds (except she sometimes only remembers one of the sounds G and I make).<br />
5. She knows the following shapes: circle, square, triangle, rectangle, oval, star, heart.<br />
6. She knows her colors: white, black, gray, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink<br />
7. She knows lots of direction words and gets right and left correct most of the time.<br />
8. She will eat/drink burgers, pork, chicken, turkey, fish (salmon and tilapia), noodles, rice, cheese, milk, smoothies, green beans, carrots, potatoes, peppers (if you force her), tomatoes, fruit of all kinds (but she's not a big berry fan).<br />
9. She uses full sentences and repeats whole stories. She will have you read a book until she's got it memorized...and then she "reads" it. She wants you to read at least 10 books a day. LOVE it.<br />
10. She answers my cell phone if it rings even though she knows she isn't supposed to.<br />
11. She still likes to pretend to be a baby and to be held and rocked (which I'm happy about). <br />
12. She asks for moloko instead of milk to drink. Simply because she can't really say milk and she is sick of me asking her to repeat it. I like that she uses the Russian. She also uses the word for "don't" and "and."<br />
13. She's super imaginative!! She always has a different imaginative game to play: the newest is that we are sisters. <br />
14. She loves to play with her friends, but she's pretty bossy. I guess being the oldest at the orphanage is partially to blame.<br />
15. She constantly wants to go somewhere. Anywhere. She doesn't even care if it's just to the store. She doesn't like to just be at home.<br />
16. New phrases: "check this out," "I got an idea," "how 'bout," "are you sure?" "are you kiddin' me?"<br />
17. She loves to pray. She sometimes just opens her eyes and thanks God for the fork, spoon, plate, and cup...but sometimes, like last night she said, "Thank you for God and for Jesus, and for everybody, and for life." <br />
18. She likes to use the churchy answers. Jesus, and God are common answers when they don't make sense as the answer at all!<br />
<br />
That's all I can think of for now. LOVE LOVE LOVE this girl. So blessed that God has put her in our lives!!</div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-2849887905330267912012-08-04T14:07:00.000-04:002012-08-04T14:07:17.389-04:003 blogs in one??<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sometimes I feel like I have tons and tons and tons of stuff that I want to share, and then life happens and I don't get to do it. So, today, while Sveta is resting I'm going to try to share three thoughts:<br />
<br />
1. Radical living: It's really messing with me, this thought of living for Jesus. When you become a beliver, people wrongfully give you the idea that it's all roses after that. No one tells you that carrying your cross is difficult...I just thought it meant wearing it on my neck. Jesus says you will be persecuted, He says that your reward will be in Heaven...which means we don't get it here. But, He says it will be worth it...and I believe Him. I'm looking at Jesus, and He's calling me...and our family...to live for Him in everyway: to sacrifice what we want to grow His Kingdom. It's all that matters anyway. To live radically our family has decided that God is asking us to get out of debt. So, here's our RADICAL plan: sell our house in Indianapolis, sell our house in Greensburg, move in with Barry's parents, and spend WAY less and pay off our debts as fast as we can. People think we are crazy, they don't understand, they think we're somehow "off." I'm ok with that...because I don't want to be like the majority of American Christians who live no differently than the rest of America. I don't want to go with the cultural norm, I want to go with the Biblical Command. I'm shaken by the fact that we are more wealthy than 99% of ALL people. ALL. Me. Wealthy. I don't see myself as that...and that's wrong. So, we're trying to follow Jesus and live as He calls.<br />
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2. God is faithful. All the time. We listed our houses this week after painting, cleaning, and moving clutter around. I'm thankful it's done. Now just to keep it clean. WOW. Hard. But so so good.<br />
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3. I am not eating Dairy Queen. Why? Well, Barry and I had a brilliant plan to help us lose a little bit of weight. Except I did eat OrangeLeaf earlier this week. And, today after Sveta's 1st soccer game we went to Dairy Queen: I ordered a water. A water. I was successful today. Thank goodness!!</div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-49703901538052901322012-07-31T17:06:00.000-04:002012-07-31T17:06:07.982-04:00Frustration Ends in Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sunday evening was not good. I was someplace between, "I just going to drive my parent's truck through the sunroom" and "I'm going to hire someone to finish what I've started and cannot finish". My frustration was primarily with the sunroom. A room I began to remodel years ago and have stalled on finishing ... partly because of time, partly because of finances, and, perhaps mostly, because of a lack of knowledge in how to finish the project. <br />
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Nonetheless, I have moved toward finishing the project. Paneling is up and it's time to trim around the windows. I am clueless. Instead of slopping wood on there, I call a few friends for advice and instruction only after I completely frustrate myself. I cannot remember the last time I was so frustrated. <br />
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Jessi was a little stressed and frustrated, too. She says it wasn't me she was frustrated with, but I can assure you all that I did nothing to take any stress away from her. <br />
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At perhaps the peak of our frustration we are all (three of us) riding along in my parent's truck. No, we are not cruising toward the sunroom. Yes, I realize I alluded to doing that earlier. The wife and child would not have been in on that showdown. This is strictly between me and my creation (the sunroom).<br />
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While cruising along Jessi and I are not smiling. Sveta sits in her seat between us just as cute as a button. I decide to engage her in conversation. "Sveta," I say in a rather serious tone, "there is no smiling, no laughing, and no having fun tonight." (Yes, she has caught on to my sarcasm after only 5 months with us) "Noooowha", comes her response. Then a cute, brief 4-year-old-giggle. Followed with, "I have to smile, daddy." "Why do you have to smile?" <br />
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Her response puts a smile on Jessi's face and mine. <br />
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Her response puts many things into perspective. <br />
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Her response is the thing which many long to hear ... even to the point of killing themselves to hear. Literally.<br />
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Her response is what gives life to hope and brings death to despair.<br />
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Her response has been learned in 5 months and will be unpacked for all eternity.<br />
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Her response: "Because Jesus loves me"<br />
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Frustration finds its end in love.<br />
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I have learned many things since this little girl entered my life. I have learned how many times I can ask someone to do something before I need to leave the room in frustration. I have learned that I can love my wife FULLY <i>and </i>FULLY love a child at the same time. I have learned what it feels like to have a little girl scream "daddy!" and ran at you with open arms. I have learned the helpless feeling of holding a child in pain (physical or emotional) and know there is nothing you can do but cry together. I have learned that the white 'play shoes' are what she wants to wear everyday. I have learned that I simply cannot make a pony-tail look good ... on anyone including myself. <br />
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Many things in my life have changed. I eat differently. I sleep lighter. I shut doors. I move knives away from the end of counter tops. I read kids books ... over and over. I pretend to be many things in many places. <br />
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One thing that hasn't changed is the love of God. And it's amazing the way this little girl can remind me of it every day. <br />
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A 4 year old can be a picture of ultimate selfishness. She's simply not learned to hide it the way I have. We don't grow out of this 4 year old state of selfishness. Instead, I am convinced we manipulate it and mask it and hide it ... but it's still there. She, just like me, deserves hell. "<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8). Reason to smile. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">I am amazed at the immeasurable amount of patience God extends toward me in my countless selfish endeavors. I am amazed at the way He loves me, despite me. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">The brokenness that surrounded us in that truck ...</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">... a child once an orphan, three selfish persons, a young man who so deeply wants to be proven by the work of his own hands, a beautiful young lady who longs for a restored community ...</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">... that brokenness that surrounded us in that truck is overwhelmed in the face of a matchless love which is unrivaled by all the hell and brokenness that may surround any one person or the entire population of the globe. </span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">There is nothing greater than the love of God. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">I experience it each day when I hug my wife and my daughter.</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">I experience it each time a friend comes and helps with my house.</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056">I will never know the depth of God's love, but I will enjoy swimming deeper and deeper into it. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"></span><span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"> </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text Rom-5-8" id="en-NIV-28056"><br /></span></div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-503370557689529927.post-56283415160157342372012-07-19T13:44:00.000-04:002012-07-19T13:44:15.388-04:00Confessions of a sinner...who desires for MORE.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I should be cleaning, or preparing my house to look perfect for when some new friends come over for dinner tonight...but I'm not. Because the more I think about it, the more I don't want a "perfect" house. I would trade the "need" to have a perfect house for almost anything. Because, here's a little secret my friends...I don't actually NEED a perfect house, nor a clean one. Most of the world has neither and doesn't even think twice. <br />
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I'm learning a lot about the American Dream and a lot about the dream of living the Gospel...and how actually...they don't mesh very well. See, here's how I've learned to live...and, things that I've thought recently. <br />
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1. My house must be clean, nicely decorated, and I must have a great meal prepared along with matching china before I can invite friends over for dinner.<br />
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2. I must have 2 cars. They must be in working order, and have lots of bells and whistles:: push a button your window goes down, plug in your ipod, turn on the a/c, etc, etc, etc. And if I have one child, I should probably own a mini-van or some other large vehicle. <br />
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3. I just got birthday money...how should I spend it on myself? Maybe I should use the money along with money I make off of selling my ipod and Kindle to buy myself an ipad.<br />
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4. I have one pair of shorts that fit, and one pair of jeans. I should go buy new ones.<br />
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5. There are really cute Merrell's in my size for "super cheap." I could get some more shoes.<br />
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6. I don't want to get messy and try to serve Jesus here. I'd rather pack for a week somewhere and love on orphans than love on the children and families of Decatur county. Why? Because the orphans didn't do anything to deserve their plight. The people here should know how to live "better." <br />
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7. I really want to do well with selling Pampered Chef...then maybe my name would be on the "top sellers" list that all consultants see...and that'd be AWESOME.<br />
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8. Maybe instead of cooking tonight, I'll just have my family go out to eat. $35 isn't that much.<br />
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9. This coffee is the least expensive. And it has a fun flavor. Got to have it. <br />
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10. Church. I think I can do this thing. I can create an event where people want to come and fall in love with Jesus there. It'll be great. We'll have a great speaker, nice decorations, yummy food...and great coffee!<br />
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So, here I sit, in my sin. Thinking these things. Judging others. Putting myself on a pedestal and thinking that my glory and my power is greater than God's. Humbled...that's what I am. I'm not greater than He...and in His grace He's teaching me to invest and live in His Kingdom with His glory and purposes in mind. Here's what His upside-down Kingdom tells me in opposition to my own human-ness: (I'm not trying to claim that this is Absolute Truth...simply that in my walk to be like Christ...this is what He's teaching me)<br />
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1. Invite people into your home. Share a meal. Break bread. Talk about Me. And, don't invite people over who can pay you back. Invite the poor, the broken, the needy, the foreigner, the orphan.<br />
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2. Materials will pass away...and only He will remain. Stop trusting in a hunk of metal to take care of you and get you where you need to go. Half the places you go, you don't need to go anyway.<br />
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3. That money was given to you as a blessing. Use it to bless. Don't hoard it on yourself. It's not really yours anyway. Further MY Kingdom, not your own.<br />
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4. Stop eating the stuff you don't need, and take care of the body I gave you. Then your clothes would fit and you wouldn't feel the need to waste money on clothes you don't actually need.<br />
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5. Really, do you need 21 pairs of shoes? Your brothers and sisters around the world...they've never even owned a pair of shoes...and they are in pain because of having to walk so far to fetch water without shoes on their feet.<br />
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6. You are the worst of them all. You think you are perfect and holy, when you have so far to go. (and I am). I'm not better than any...and I shouldn't judge those that have less than I. Whether they are in Decatur County, or Russia, or Kenya, they are children of God. End of story.<br />
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7. Even if people that get that email think you are great...I will know the truth. You did it for your glory...and not for Mine.<br />
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8. $35. Actually allows a Kenyan orphan to go to school, have food, and supplies for a MONTH.<br />
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9. This coffee might be cheap...but it is costing a great deal to the farmers who are enslaved by the company that makes it. Is your flavored coffee really worth continuing to support companies who literally are enslaving thousands daily?<br />
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10. You can do nothing without My power. So, go ahead, throw yourself into this event...or pray. Ask me to show you who to invite in, who to love on, and watch as many come to know me.<br />
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American Dream? Gospel centered dream?<br />
<br />My dream is to live differently for Jesus. To love Him with abandon and to stop caring what this world says. This world, it's not my home. His Kingdom is all that matters, and I want my life to mimic His hopes, dreams, and goals...and for all the glory to go to Him.<br />
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What is your dream??</div>apathhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12421617531176307642noreply@blogger.com1